


Downtime III

by DoctorpooandtheTURDIS



Series: 1287 [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorpooandtheTURDIS/pseuds/DoctorpooandtheTURDIS
Summary: Or; Five idiots in the woods try to raise a baby. With some help sometimes.
Relationships: Cortana/John-117 | Master Chief, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Will Byers/Susan Foreman
Series: 1287 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713106
Comments: 16
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WHOO! IT'S TIME! Terribly, Terribly sorry for the wait, but I wanted to take a short break from this part of my little 'universe' I've been building up so far. I didn't want to suffer a burnout, you know how it is. So, first thing's first:
> 
> Also, the Doctor does have a significant role to play this chapter, but he's not the main focus of the fic. Feel like i should get that out there in case anyone wants to say Doctor Who's stealing everybody else's thunder.
> 
> In addition, TW: Stillborn babies.
> 
> Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.

John can’t believe it. He wakes up, and glances into the nursery fearfully, like he expects the baby to vanish into thin air without any warning.

Actually, his worries are more terrifying. There are some mornings he wakes up, worried that he won’t hear his little girl’s screaming for her mother, gone silent forever in the dead of night. Others, he’s scared he’ll pick her up, and because he’s the strongest human who’s ever lived, he’ll break her trying to hold her close.

And some mornings, he wakes up, and worries that it’ll have been a dream. That they really did lose the baby.

It was very touch and go for a moment, only one short moment, but it felt like an eternity. After fighting his way to them, John got to Cortana too late.

The Doctor stood in the corner, looking as old as he surely must’ve been, as Cortana held the silent, still newborn in her arms.

John’s little baby Catherine. Born three months too early, who would never know the gift of life.

Cortana sat there on the ground, holding the child covered in blood. She was just… vacant, like the act of weeping took far, far too much energy.

Will and Susan arrived a microsecond later, the Master having absconded into oblivion. Will looked on in horror, as the people he saw as his second set of parents were experiencing a pain that nobody should have to go through.

And Susan looked on just as shocked, revolted that anything that could be claimed to be a sentient being could put another through that kind of pain.

Susan pulled Will away, and John fell to his knees next to Cortana.

It was over. And it had ended in the worst possible way.

“…Give her here.” The Doctor gently advised, standing above them.

“I-I…” Cortana stuttered, holding the stillborn close.

“…Please.” The Doctor gently pushed. “I think… I know I can help. Please, let me try.”

Cortana looked to John, staring, feeling as void as he did, before he nodded.

Cortana, shaking, handed the tiny form over to the Doctor.

The Time Lord looked down at the baby. “I’m so sorry… It’s my fault the Master went after you two… but, I can start to make this right.” The Doctor’s skin began to glow, gold-orange particles radiating off him. “[Wake up, little one...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRrOI7By5fc)” He whispered.

Seconds passed, marked by the beating of their hearts…

And the baby began to cry.

“Ha ha!” The Doctor whooped as the glow died down. “Catherine T. Halsey, welcome to the land of the living!” He grinned, passing the little girl back over to Cortana. “Congratulations, she’s a perfectly healthy baby girl!”

“H-“ Tears began falling from Cortana’s eyes, the baby’s crying stopping as she was placed into her mother’s arms, but the little spasms she made signaled she was perfectly alive. “How?”

“I’m, uh-“ The Doctor bashfully blushed. “I’m on my final life, so… I used the last little bit of residual regeneration energy I had. She needed it more than I will.” The Doctor smiled, looking down at the baby. The newborn opened her eyes and spluttered something. “She’s your mum.”

Little baby Catherine’s eyes glanced at John, and he looked down into hers…

Looking back on it, even as an old man, John couldn’t describe that feeling. Your child laying eyes upon you for the first time.

“He’s not your mum, he’s your dad.” The Doctor played with the little girl’s tiny hand. “No, I didn’t say ‘not-mum.’”

“What are you doing?” Cortana asked, as John silently asked to hold Catherine, and she passed her over.

The Doctor looked back at Cortana, smiling. “I speak baby.”

“…You’re having me on, aren’t you?”

“I speak everything.”

And at that moment, John made a promise to himself. One he’d keep for the rest of his days. He would never, ever, take his child for granted.


	2. Of SPARTANs and Cats

Every person in the new house takes to the baby differently. Cortana seems to take to it like a fish in water. Seemingly having a telepathic connection to the kid, Cortana knows what the baby needs right when she needs it. She’s a natural, and John couldn’t be more proud of her.

The SPARTAN himself, however, is a different story. He can operate more than two dozen different varieties of vehicles, is licensed to use guns of all different makes and models, and yet...

Taking care of a baby is one of the most difficult things he’s ever done.

One time, for instance, long after the circumstances surrounding little Cat’s birth blew over, Cortana had elected to give herself a night out. Not a problem, he recognized that even parents (which was a full-time job in itself) needed a break every now and again, no matter how much they love their kids.

Of course, that was before John realized he’d be on his own. El was over at Mike’s, Max was over at Lucas, and Billy was working.

Which left him, and the baby, on their own.

Cat sat, in a little bouncer, looking up at her titanic father. Things, for the moment, were calm.

And then, as babies tend to do, she began to wail.

John, remembering what Cortana had said, did a quick check-over of the baby’s diaper, then tried to give her a bottle, and then tried to put her to bed… Even though it was seven in the afternoon.

And absolutely nothing was working.

At the end of an agonizing twelve-hours of nonstop tears, John, placed his hands on his face, and let out a frustrated growl.

The crying stopped, and John’s head shot up, looking at the crib.

Cat looked back at him, big eyes red, but like she was calming down.

John tried to think about it for a moment but couldn’t come up with anything. Unless…

He let out another low growl, and Cat laughed, clapping her little hands.

John didn’t count himself a religious man. But he rejoiced, thanking the Lord.

****

“John, I’m back!” Cortana called, gently shutting the door.

“In here.” John replied from the bedroom, and Cortana tilted her head. He wasn’t the kind of man to just lounge around in bed.

“So, how did-“ She walked in, and her heart melted, as she saw the man holding his tiny daughter close. “Aww… I wish I had a camera.”

“I’m sure you’ll remember it.” John replied, before he resumed doing… what was that?

“John… are you _purring_!?” Cortana incredulously asked.

“Shh.” He gently requested. “She likes it.” He said, gently bouncing Cat up and down, as he went back to rumbling gently.

“…I am so telling the others.”

“No!”


	3. The Hawkins Horrors

**_The Doctor HAS CREATED CHATROOM The Hawkins Horrors._ **

**_The Doctor HAS ADDED Susan, Will, Max, Lucas, Dustin, Mike, El, John, and Cortana._ **

SUSAN: …

THE DOCTOR: Susan, hullo!

SUSAN: …why?

THE DOCTOR: ?

WILL: what is this. my phone just started going bananas.

SUSAN: WERE YOU ON AO3 AGSIN? THIS IS WHY I DON’T LET YOU ON THE INTERNET!

JOHN: I don’t understand. There were phones all about the place and now they’re going off?  
JOHN: Hm. A moment.

**_John HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO S117._ **

S117: Better.

SUSAN: FATHER, WHAT IN GOD’S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO DO THIS!?!?

THE DOCTOR: Well, I thought that since Will’s almost moved onto the TARDIS full time, he’d like a way to stay in touch with his friends when we’re off world.

WILL: …really? thanks, I’m touched.

SUSAN: *sniff* this is so powerful, I’m holding back tears.

CORTANA: gurl, shut yo sensitive ass up.  
CORTANA: nvm, I just cried.

DUSTIN: dude, this thing is rad! Its gota compass, a calculator, a camera, internet (whatever the hell hat is) and it’s a phone! Where’d you get this, doc!?

THE DOCTOR: …Internet? No, wait, it’s the 1980s. SeARS, THEN. Oops, his capslock. Hold on.

**_The Doctor HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO ΘΣ_ **

LUCAS: How do you pronounce that?

ΘΣ: You don’t.

EL: where mike

MIKE: Not here. I’m not getting dragged into this mess.

**_Mike HAS LEFT THE CHAT_ **

EL: oh hell no

**_El HAS LEFT THE CHAT_ **

CORTANA: 

SUSAN: ah, a woman of culture, I see.  
SUSAN:

MAX: what are they doing?

WILL: theyre speaking the language of the gods.

DUSTIN: is tha twhats happening?

LUCAS: yeah, i thought it was some kind of mating ritual

CORTANA: …

SUSAN: …

CORTANA:

ΘΣ: EHAT THE HELL I THOUGT I DELETED THAT!? WHERED YOU GET IT!?

SUSAN:  


ΘΣ: THATS IT NO MORE CHOCOLATE FOR A MONTH

SUSAN: !!!

SUSAN: YOU WOULDNT DARE!

ΘΣ: BET?

**_ΘΣ HAS GONE AFK_ **

SUSAN: NO

**_Susan HAS GONE AFK_ **

MAX: DID SOMETHING JUST EXPLODE!?

****

SUSAN: i would just like it to be known  
SUSAN: it was an accident i swear to god

ΘΣ: HOW IS THIS:  
ΘΣ:  
ΘΣ: AN ACCIDENT!?

S117: That doesn’t seem physically possible.

El: howd you fire yo a fire distinguisher???

DUSTIN: fire distinguisher

CORTANA: 

WILL: SGHIJBGH

El: ?

WILL: keyboard spam. it’s a internet thing.

SUSAN: OKAY A: FIRE EXTINGUISHERS ARENT NORMALLY FLAMMABLE

ΘΣ: WHICH IS WHAT MAKES YOU SETTING ONE ON FIRE SO CONFUSING

SUSAN: AND 2: YOU WERE ABOUT TO HIDE AWAY MY CHOCOLATE

ΘΣ: THERE ARE MORE REASONABLE REACTIONS TO HAVE THAN SETTING THINGS ON FIRE

SUSAN: tHerE ARe MoAR REasOnAble ReAcTIoNs-  
SUSAN: THEY WERE RIGELLIAN CHOCOLATES, FATHER, RIGELLIAN!  
SUSAN: I COULD’VE SOLD THOSE AND LIVED LIKE A QUEEN!

WILL: ur my queen already

SUSAN:…  
SUSAN: Anger forgotten. Will, come to my room, now.

**_Susan HAS LEFT THE CHAT_ **

**_Will HAS LEFT THE CHAT_ **

CORTANA:  
CORTANA: WAIT A MINUTE HE’S 16.  
CORTANA: WILL!  
CORTANA: …  
CORTANA: USE PROTECTION!

LUCAS: wjere are you gerting all those pictures?

CORTANA: The internet.

ΘΣ: I routed the phones through the TARDIS’s communication circuits and databanks. You have everything.  
ΘΣ: Well, not everything.  
ΘΣ: Don’t want to have to explain doubles and the multiverse just yet. Susan just got done beating the hell out of me, I don’t want her to do it again because I gave you all an existential crisis.  
ΘΣ: Incidentally, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in sickbay. Recovering from shrapnel wounds caused by an exploding fire extinguisher.

DUSTIN: don’t you mean distinguisher?

El: hsut up

MIKE: hsut

LUCAS: hsut

MAX: hsut

DUSTIN: are you actually illiterate

EL: ...  
EL: yes

DUSTIN: …  
DUSTIN: oh  
DUSTIN: well  
DUSTIN: shit

MIKE: i hate this damn thing already


	4. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that I don't have to worry about getting from one season to another, I can post pretty much any story in any order. So, enjoy, a little snippet of Max's first night living with the Weirdos in the Woods.

“This,” Cortana grunted, trying to push the recliner propped up against the door out of the way, “Is a goddamned mess.”

“Language.” John chided, kicking the chair out of the way himself. The floorboards creaked as the heavy titanium armor thudded against the floor, the four walking inside.

Max was oddly silent.

“This is definitely a fixer-upper.” Cortana sighed, looking around. She glanced at Max, who stood there, expression vacant from the events that had just transpired. The doctors had gotten the piece of the Gravemind out of Billy just fine, but Billy himself had yet to wake up.

Max was not taking it well.

“Come on, Max.” Cortana quietly and gently guided her. “Let’s get you set up somewhere… I have a feeling you’re going to be staying with us for a while.”

John and El watched as the woman guided Max into El’s room, Cortana setting up a pallet in the floor with every spare blanket she could get out of El’s closet.

“Dad…” El looked to John, whispering, supporting herself on the crutches the hospital had provided to keep her off her injured leg. “Is Max going to be fine?”

“She’s just worried.” John gently rumbled. “We almost lost Billy.”

“Is Billy going to be fine?” El asked then, unaware of the older teenager’s status.

“…I don’t know.” John admitted. “He’s comatose.”

“…Coma-toes?” El repeated.

Hm. John had thought he taught her that word. “Comatose.” The SPARTAN repeated. “It’s like he’s sleeping… but he can’t wake up.”

“Is he… dead?” El asked, not understanding the situation.

“No.” John replied. “Dead people will never wake up. Billy might.”

“Might?” El repeated.

“…The doctors don’t know.” John looked at El. “His heart’s still beating, he’s still breathing… The lights are on, but nobody’s home. At this point, there’s nothing more the doctors can do. We just have to wait.”

“Wait.” El repeated, huffing. “I hate waiting.”

“I know.” John replied. “But, it’s not our decision. Billy will wake up when he’s ready.”

“What are we going to do about Max?” El asked. “She can’t go back to that motel. She can’t go back to Neil either… We’re all she has now.”

John looked to the room where Cortana was helping Max get settled, the teenager on autopilot. “We’ll just have to be there for her, then.” He looked back to El. “Cortana’s been talking about adding onto the cabin. “

El’s face brightened, and she looked giddy at the prospect. “You mean-?”

“Max and Billy are both promising young people.” John said in response. “I wouldn’t feel guilty taking them in. But, it’s going to be rough at first.” He informed El. “Max is going to be going through some difficult things, and it’s going to take some adjusting. She may not want our help.”

“I don’t care.” El stated in response. “She’s my friend.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” John said.

“So what do we do?” El questioned.

“First, I get this off.” John gestured down to his bloodstained armor. “And then tomorrow…” He looked to the giant hole where a wall used to be. “We’re going to have our work cut out for us.”

He just hoped there was a place around Hawkins where they could get building supplies on the cheap.

Cortana may have been a master of the stock markets, but that didn’t mean they were made of money.


	5. Home Improvement

Turns out, remodeling and adding onto a house yourself is a lot, _lot_ more complicated than it looks. It’s been a week of work for John, from the break of dawn to the last twilight hours of the day, of lifting, hammering, leveling, and a whole lot of other work.

Anybody else would be content with just putting up a few walls and calling it a day. But John is a SPARTAN, the goddamn Master Chief, it’s going to be done, and it’s going to be done _right_ by God.

El helps out, of course, because she’s just that sweet.

But it does become a fight to prevent Cortana from trying to pull too much of her weight. He shouldn’t have to explain that a pregnant woman shouldn’t be undergoing any physical activity that’s too strenuous.

“I feel,” Cortana grumbled with crossed arms, “Useless.”

“You’re not useless.” John replied, pushing a section of plywood into position, before nailing it fixed to the wood skeleton.

“You’re doting over me!” Cortana retorted. “You won’t even let me wire things up, or paint!”

“Paint fumes can be harmful.” John replied calmly, as he gave the new wall an experimental push, satisfied it wasn’t going anywhere. Taking the opportunity afforded by the giant gaping hole torn into the wall by the Gravemind’s attack, they just extended out the floor a couple of dozen feet, and put walls up.

The ‘room’ that John and Cortana had previously been occupying, almost too large for their own bed, had been moved out of, becoming the laundry room, while John and Cortana got a fresh new master bedroom, with its own bathroom.

Heh, master bedroom for the Master Chief… Sorry, I ramble.

El’s room would remain largely untouched. Not because they didn’t want to do any work on it, but because El herself was perfectly content with the room she occupied. Two more rooms, one for Max and Billy, the other a nursery for the baby, were also being built up.

By the end of it, it might be pertinent to say that the cabin wouldn’t really be a cabin anymore, just a house with a rustic aesthetic.

“Electrical shocks can be harmful.” John continued, giving the new window a quick test.

“You’re letting El help!” Cortana pointed at the teenage girl.

John looked at El, who sat there, legs crossed on the floor. She gave a happy little wave, before her eyes focused on the wall, a light switch and power outlet wiring themselves into place.

“That’s different.” John replied. “She can remain a safe distance away while also helping. Besides, you already pulled your weight enough,” He said, putting up the next wall.

Cortana scowled, crossing her arms. “Oh yeah? How?”

“You got the money to pay for this.” John replied. “That’s enough for me.” He glanced at her and sighed. “You’re the one who’s carrying that baby, not me, not El. Please, take it easy, and let the rest of us do the hard work.”

“Easier said than done.” Cortana retorted. “Especially when _Max_ is getting more opportunity to help than me!”

“Max also isn’t pregnant.” John retorted, turning back to the wall.

“Fuck you, John.” Cortana stated, no actual malice behind it.

“You did. That’s what got you into that mess to begin with.”

“Ha!” El laughed from across the way.

****

Some two weeks later, of hard work and sweat, it was finally complete. It wasn’t the biggest house in the world, no, and it was likely they were going to have to do another little renovation project in the future, but for now, it was big enough.

Cortana did get her wish to help out, of course. John was physically incapable of saying no to her for long (who could blame him, with a voice like that?).

“Oh, John, it’s perfect…” Cortana declared with a smile, looking around.

John nodded slowly, looking around at the fruits of his labors, satisfied with the final product…

And a wall suddenly fell, sending Cortana and El jumping with matching screams.

John just sighed. “Maybe we should call a contractor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that story of the wall falling is something that actually happened to me. I was helping my grandfather do some work on his new house, an older place out in the middle of about forty acres of land, lovely place, but I digress.
> 
> Anyway, we put up one of the walls after knocking out the old one (a single wood wall, in a place that wis otherwise built out of brick, god knows what the morons who built the place were thinking) that had a whole bunch of mold and shit growing on the inside, and one of us forgot to nail the damn thing in place.
> 
> So, it comes tumbling down.
> 
> So then my uncle, the most stoic person on the face of the planet, with perfect comedic timing, turns to me and says; “Perhaps we should get a contractor in.”


	6. Halloween, 1985

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's October 1st, you know what that means...
> 
> SPOOKY TIME

“…I look…” John gestured down at his clothes. “Ridiculous.”

“Nonsense!” Cortana retorted. “You look great!” She smiled, fixing his robe.

“Who am I’m supposed to even be?” The SPARTAN asked.

Halloween had come once again, and this time, things seemed to be going smoothly for the people in Hawkins. No crazy monsters, aliens, or the like. Things were just… calm.

And Joyce, with the newfound space of the new house, decided to host a Halloween party this year. Nothing too large, but it was enough for the group of friends to come together and celebrate in peace.

“You’re Anakin Skywalker!” Cortana said.

“…Not the Anakin Skywalker most people would recognize.” John stated.

“Yeah?” Cortana put her hands on her hips. “How do you know?”

John crossed his arms and sighed. “Do I have to be Anakin Skywalker? I’ve got the height to pull off Darth Vader, I know.”

“Come on, John,” Cortana practically whined. “We planned this ages ago! El goes as Leia, Mike goes as Han Solo, I go as Padme, you go as Anakin, and Cat is R2-D2!”

“Nobody’s going to know who you are.” John tried to debate. “Those movies haven’t come out yet… Unlike my suggestion-”

Cortana’s eyes narrowed. “For the last time, you are _not_ going as Captain Kirk, and there is no way in Hell are you going to get me to go as an Orion Slave Girl!”

John sighed. “…Fine.”

****

Forty five minutes later, the residents of the cabin were standing on the front porch of the Byers’s new house, easily four times the size of the last one, waiting for the door to open.

John, Cortana, El, and the baby were all in the costumes they’d decided on previously, while Max and Billy were dressed up as the Blues Brothers. John rapped his knuckles against the door, and a moment later, it swung open.

“Hey, guys!” Joyce beamed, dressed like the Bride of Frankenstein. “Come in, come in!” She ushered them inside, closing the door behind them. “Oh, she looks so cute!” She gushed, looking at Cat secured in a little stroller that looked like R2-D2.

“Where is everybody?” El inquired, looking around, resisting the urge to tug at her hair.

“Everybody under the age of twenty’s in the basement.” Joyce said. “Everybody else…” She gestured to the living room, at all the parents.

El looked to Cortana.

Cortana chuckled. “Go, have fun.”

“Thanks!” El shot, running off, Max following her. “…How do I get to the basement?”

Joyce pointed to a door slightly open in the hallway.

“Thanks!” El said, taking charge down the steps first.

“So…” Cortana turned to John. “Ready to socialize?”

“…No.”

****

“What gets me wet?” Mike read from the card, as the two girls came running down, followed by Billy taking it slowly. “El!”

“Mike!” El grinned, looking around the basement. “This basement is bitchin!’”

“That’s what I said!” Dustin (dressed like a dwarf) concurred, holding four small, square white cards in his hand. “Sorry, Mike, but we’re having Party meetings here from now on!”

Mike scowled, about to say something.

“Now, now…” Susan admonished, sitting at him from across the table. “We all agreed this would be a place of calm and understanding.”

Mike huffed, crossing his arms.

Max frowned; eyebrows knit together as she noticed something. “You’re dressed as Han Solo.”

“Yeah,” Susan leaned back, flashing the fake blaster. “And?”

“You said you and Will were doing a couple’s costume.” El picked up. “What did he go as? Chewbacca?”

Susan laughed. “Not quite.” She pointed to Will…

Will sat there, glowering, in a white gown, makeup plastered on his face, wearing a wig. “When I suggested we go as Han Solo and Princess Leia… This isn’t what I had in mind.”

“Well, that’s what you get for trying to one-up me and El.” Mike retorted. “Now, everyone, your cards…”

“Lucas, come on!” Dustin chastised, “Get on with it!”

“Fine,” Lucas, dressed like a Viking, threw up his hands, throwing the white card down. “All my cards were shit anyway.”

“Alright, here we go.” Mike cleared his throat. “What makes me wet? Going an entire day without masturbating. Mommy and daddy fighting. Some really fucked up shit. Three dicks at the same time. 8oz. of sweet Mexican black tar heroin… God, these are all shit…” Mike muttered. “Water.” He read, bursting into giggles. “Alright,” Mike threw the card down. “Water it is.”

“A-thank-you.” The Doctor theatrically bowed, placing the black card in front of him.

“What the hell kind of game is this?” Max asked.

“Cards Against Humanity.” Will answered, as Susan leaned against him. “A horrible game for horrible people… Where’d we pick it up?”

“A Target in LA.” Susan answered.

“Can we join?” El asked, not wanting to be left out.

“By all means!” The Doctor scooted over to allow the three who had just arrived to pull up some chairs.

****

John sat down on the couch, Cortana leaning into him, as ‘Aliens’ played on the television. Joyce had taken to passing out the candy to the trick-or-treaters that came by, leaving the two, Hopper, and Jonathan and Nancy in the living room.

On screen, the Xenomorph suddenly attacked, and everybody jumped, save for John, who remained steady as Cortana leaned in.

John mentally laughed. This is why he loved Halloween.

Unbeknownst to him, however, little Cat had spotted something nearby. Something bright, which smelled nice.

And as babies were wont to do, she picked it up, and almost swallowed it whole. Fortunately, it was something soft, and went down easy. _Un_ fortunately…

It was a piece of candy.

Even more unfortunately, it was no ordinary piece of candy.

****

The entire table burst into laughs, as El took the latest round with her card. Ever since joining, El, who had seemingly had the most innocent person in the world, had been entering every round with some of the most deplorable, horrible combinations imaginable.

And she was absolutely killing it.

“’ABC presents: A woman’s right to choose, the incredible story of Aborting the shit out of a fetus.’” Dustin, the current Card Czar, read out, struggling not to laugh, the only reasonable reaction to playing the game. “Good God, El, how do you come up with these?”

El, saying nothing, merely smiled and shrugged.

“Are you stacking the deck?” Lucas asked, looking the small stack of white cards over. “I think she’s stacking the deck.”

The Doctor laughed, reaching into his pocket for something. He froze and frowned. “Will, Susan, have either of you seen that Gummi-Sphere?”

Max frowned. “Gummi-what?”

“It’s a kind of candy we picked up on Hallowseve.” Will explained, as the Doctor shot to his feet, practically turning over Will’s basement room to find it. “Last I saw it, you had it upstairs.”

“Before I left it to come down here and I got pulled in…” The Doctor paled, running upstairs.

“I don’t get it,” Mike spoke up, “What’s big issue?”

“There’s a chemical in it that causes different effects in different organisms.” Susan explained. “In Time Lords, it causes a nice mellow feeling, but, we don’t know how it affects humans.”

****

John and Cortana looked on at the TV, leaning against each other, as the movie played out, Cat bouncing contentedly between them. Alien had long since gone off, and now, the current fare was Halloween.

“…Not too terribly scary.” Cortana commented.

“How can you say that!?” Jonathan retorted, pointing at the screen. “It’s a horror classic! It always gives me the shivers.”

“Eerie, yes, but not scary.” Cortana replied.

“I concur.” An unfamiliar voice spoke up. “If we are to watch these inane films, perhaps we can find one with a bit more blood and viscera?”

The others in the room blinked, as they all turned, jaws on the floor, towards John and Cortana.

“Uh…” Cortana looked to the baby sitting next to them.

“Might I suggest Friday the 13th?” The voice suggested.

“Guys, stop everything!” The Doctor came frantically running in. “Did any one of you eat a purple piece of candy that looked kind of like a bouncy ball!?”

“Why, yes, I did consume such a substance.” The voice’s owner, Cat, answered, sounding far, far too intelligent for any one-month-old. “Why do you ask?”

“…ah.” The Doctor blinked. “I-I-I-I-I’ll just be off… then…” He stuttered, slowly backing out. “Shall I?” He suddenly broke into a sprint, dashing out of sight.

“My, what a wonderful character.” Cat commented. “Wouldn’t you agree, mother?”

“Talking… baby.” Cortana stared. “…I’m not the only one who sees this… right?”

“…no.” John stared as well.

“Oh, I do apologize everyone, I appear to be causing my dear parents some distress.” The little girl speaking too eloquently looked around. “Could someone get them a warm towel, perhaps?”

****

“Please, please tell us this isn’t permanent.” Cortana demanded, grabbing the Doctor by his bow tie.

“W-Well,” The Time Lord stammered. “It’s like any food chemical, it gets flushed out of the system after a little while. You just have to wait it out.”

“For how long?” The woman quietly fumed.

“Oh… It should wear off by the morning.” The Doctor coughed. “Could you please let me go, it’s getting hard to breathe.”

“Are… you… _sure?”_ Cortana growled, even as she released the Doctor.

“Yes… probably.” The Doctor ducked out of the way, as Cortana almost grabbed onto him again. “And if it doesn’t!” He amended. “I can whip up an antidote, easy peasy!”

“You’d better hope it does.” Cortana pointed threateningly, as she turned on her heel, going back to the sitting room.

John stood under the arch, supporting Cat in his arms. “Verdict?”

Cortana sighed. “It should wear off by tomorrow morning… Until then…”

“We’re stuck with baby Einstein.” John finished. “So, what do we do?”

“Well… We just wait it out.” Cortana answered. “Although… I guess this does prove something.”

“What?”

“She definitely gets her brains from me.” Cortana laughed.

“Quite right!” Cat herself concurred. “So, how shall we spend these precious few hours?”

Cortana glanced at John. “You willing to make a drive?”

****

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, our final act of the night!” The announcer hyped up. “A special treat for Halloween night only! Please welcome… Cortana, and her assistant, Cat!”

“This was a bad idea.” John, off to the side, grumbled as Cortana walked out onto the stage, carrying Cat like she was a dummy.

Cortana sat down, clearing her throat, as she went for the glass of water nearby. She motioned for the band to start playing, as she began to drink.

That night, the last-minute act of a woman dressed up like a Greek goddess drinking while her puppet that looked far too much like an actual baby for anyone’s comfort sang Heart and Soul stole the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Babies talking like full-grown adults is terrifying, don't @ me


	7. HH2: Hot Dogs and Celebrity Goldfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up over the great debate. Also, the List of Celebrities I'd totally bang is discussed.

CORTANA: is too

DUSTIN: is not

CORTANA: is too

DUSTIN: is not

CORTANA: y know as much as id love to continue this back and forth all day we should really get a second opinion

DUSTIN: do it  
DUSTIN: I know im right

CORTANA: @EVERYBODY  
CORTANA: GET IN HERE, WE NEED HELP

**_SUSAN has entered the chat_ **

**_LUCAS has entered the chat_ **

**_MAX has entered the chat_ **

**_EL has entered the chat_ **

**_MIKE has entered the chat_ **

**_S117 has entered the chat_ **

**_ΘΣ_ ** **_has entered the chat_ **

**_WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY has entered the chat_ **

CORTANA: okay, first, whoever changed Will’s name, I love you.

MIKE: aw thanks I love you too

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: look, can this wait?  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: we’re being chased by Cybermen.

DUSTIN: NO!  
DUSTIN: This is the most important question, the single most important question in the history of mankind!  
DUSTIN:…  
DUSTIN: are hot dogs sandwiches?

LUCAS: OTH FOR THE LOVE OF

MAX: not this shit again

EL: ehaut s hit doh?

SUSAN: the answer is no by the way

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: seriously susan?

SUSAN: you’re stil responding too, don’t get mad at me.

MAX: they aren’t

LUCAS: yeah, same

S117: Are you seriously having this argument? When there are much better things to be doing?

CORTANA: HOLD ON, WHAT PROOF DO YOU HAVE!?

MIKE: yeah, where?

CORTANA: MIKE I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I’VE EVER SAID ABOUT YOU  
CORTANA: BECAUSE, WATCH THIS, I’M ABOUT TO BLOW Y’ALLS GODDAMN MINDS  
CORTANA: A SANDWICH IS MADE BY THINGS PUT BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF BREAD  
CORTANA: THEREFORE HOT DOG IS SANDWICH

EL: tlak o sanmic is mkin me hingry

ΘΣ:…  
ΘΣ: Sandwiches are horizontal.  
ΘΣ: Hot dogs are vertical.  
ΘΣ: Case closed.

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: DOCTOR

ΘΣ: WELL WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT AFTER WE’VE BEEN HORRIBLY MURDERED CAN WE!?

MIKE: youre thinking too hard  
MIKE: its just bread and meat  
MIKE: that is about the most basic sandwich youcan make

LUCAS: but the bread is weird

DUSTIN: what does weird bread have to do with this?

LUCAS: if i go to subway i ask for a meatball sub  
LUCAS: i dont ask for a meatball sandwich  
LUCAS: bread matters

MAX: but what about cuban sandwiches?

LUCAS: ?

MAX: the bread is weird on them and theyre still called sandwiches

ΘΣ: Max is right.  
ΘΣ: I helped create the first sandwich.  
ΘΣ: Well actually we called them Earls.  
ΘΣ: Point is I know what I’m talking about.

CORTANA:  


SUSAN:  


MAX: oh god not this shit again

S117: All of you are wrong.

CORTANA: ?

MIKE: ?

DUSTIN: ?

LUCAS: ?

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: ?

ΘΣ: OKAY THANKS WE GET IT.

S117: Hot dogs are clearly tacos.

EL: …

CORTANA: john  
CORTANA: im divorcing your ass

S117: Hear me out.  
S117: Tacos are a food with an outer layer made of a corn or wheat product made to be held vertically.  
S117: With the meat and the condiments held in the middle.

SUSAN: i mean hes not wrong

MIKE: you people call french fries chips i dont wanna hear it

ΘΣ: Doesn’t change the facts.

MIKE: YOU EAT FISH STICKS WITH CUSTARD  
MIKE: IM NOT TAKING FOOD ADVICE FROM YOU

ΘΣ: I feel personally attacked.

MIKE: GOOD

**_TYPE 40 MARK III has entered the chat_ **

ΘΣ: Sexy? Is that you?

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: DOCTOR! CYBERMEN!

ΘΣ: I’M HANDLING IT!

**_ΘΣ has gone AFK_ **

TYPE 40: You mortals are so busy arguing whether or not hot dogs are sandwiches that you’ve missed out on the bigger questions.  
TYPE 40: Like, for example.  
TYPE 40: Is cereal soup, or stew?

**_TYPE 40 MARK III has left the chat_ **

DUSTIN: OH BOY HERE WE GO-

CORTANA: hm… stew, I’ll go stew.

DUSTIN: don’t think so

MIKE: neither do i

CORTANA: SHUT UP MIKE STICK TO YOUR ROLE

MIKE: role???

CORTANA: YES  
CORTANA: IM THE SMART, SEXY ONE  
CORTANA: DUSTIN’S THE STUPID ONE WITH THE OCCASIONAL REDEEMING MOMENT OF INTELLIGENCE

DUSTIN: HEY!

CORTANA: LUCAS IS THE NORMAL ONE  
CORTANA: MAX IS THE ONE TIRED WITH ALL OF US  
CORTANA: WILL’S THE SIMP  
CORTANA: EL’S THE ONE THAT NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND

EL: eht s snip?

CORTANA: JOHN’S THE ONE WITHOUT A SENSE OF HUMOR WHO WE SOMEHOW KEEP DRAGGING INTO OUT INANE CONVERSATIONS

S117: Accurate.

CORTANA: THE DOCTOR IS THE _REALLY_ WEIRD ONE  
CORTANA: Susan is meme queen  
CORTANA: AND YOU’RE THE PUNCHING BAG  
CORTANA: verbal  
CORTANA: I will not condone physical abuse

MIKE: oh, that’s something at least.

CORTANA: sticks and stones may break my bones but words can allow me to psychologically maim in ways only dreamed of before

****

MIKE: I mean, I’ve thought about it.

LUCAS: you what?  
LUCAS: dude, come on

MIKE: ITS KURT RUSSELL  
MIKE: IF YOU SAY YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT YOU’RE EITHER LYING OR YOU’RE NOT HUMAN

WWILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: I mean, there are way more attractive celebrities out there.

MIKE: oh yeah?  
MIKE: name one

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: I’ll do you better. I’ll name five  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: Wiliam Shatner pre-toupee  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: Madonna  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: MARILYN MONROE  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: LITERALLY EVERY GIRL FROM BANANARAMA  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: oh, and you can’t forget about David Bowie.

LUCAS:…

MIKE: …

MAX: I am deeply concerned about this list’s contents.

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: WHAT  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: A GUY CAN’T LIKE MEN!?

MAX: not that  
MAX: the fact that Bill Shatner was the first on the list.  
MAX: david bowie is perfectly understandable

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: …  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: it’s a work in progress  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: what about you Susan?  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: any celebreties on your list?

SUSAN: i’m not constantly driven by the compulsion to mate, unlike you humans.

DUSTIN: you still haven’t answered the question

SUSAN: that was a no  
SUSAN: although, there was this one time I met Matt Smith  
SUSAN: god that was weird.

LUCAS: who?

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: an actor who looks just like the Doctor.  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: its best if you don’t question it  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: multiverse crap

MAX: okay, but hold up cause now im interested  
MAX: how was it weird?

SUSAN: it was just weird  
SUSAN: seeing someone who looks like ur dad who is so obviously not your dad

MIKE: rather like meeting a girl who looks exactly like ur girlfriend who is not ur girlfriend

SUSAN: …  
SUSAN: touche

ΘΣ: Wait, because now you’ve got me intrigued.  
ΘΣ: When was this?

SUSAN: well… a long while before Will came on board  
SUSAN: id just cut my hair so we could sneak into that convent on Delta Metreonis IX

ΘΣ: Oh yeah, I remember.

SUSAN: anyway, i got a call from **_[TARDIS AUTO-CENSORS ENGAGED]_** and she told me she wanted to pull off another swap

MIKE: swap?

SUSAN: she likes to have her days off, and since i like to have days away from the TARDIS, she and I switch places ever-so-often  
SUSAN: its good fun  
SUSAN: very confusing for everyone else

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: no way  
WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: if you had swapped, we would know.

SUSAN: one word, Will:  
SUSAN: Akhaten

ΘΣ: I see, continue.

SUSAN: anyway, I showed up for an awards ceremony or something, I forgot what it was, and he was there

ΘΣ: …awards?

SUSAN: yeah, for tv or something like that  
SUSAN: anyway, we didn’t get to talk for long  
SUSAN: BUT HE WAS SO NICE  
SUSAN: I EVEN GOT A PICTURE WITH HIM!

MAX: ooh, lettuce see

SUSAN: aite let me find it  
SUSAN: okay, forgive potato quality, but here it is:  
SUSAN:  


EL: it me?

ΘΣ: !!!  
ΘΣ: WAIT A MINUTE, THAT WAS YOU!?  
ΘΣ: SUSAN

SUSAN: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WAS ME!?  
SUSAN: THAT WAS YOU!?

DUSTIN: omigod guys, I have the perfect thing for this  
DUSTIN: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8cnQi80634>

ΘΣ: OF COURSE IT WAS ME, I HAVE THAT PICTURE TOO:  
ΘΣ: **[IMAGE HAS BEEN SCRUBBED TO SAVE DOCUMENT SPACE]**

SUSAN: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING THERE!?

ΘΣ: WHAT THE HELL WAS _I_ DOING THERE?  
ΘΣ: WHAT THE HELL WERE _YOU_ DOING THERE!?

SUSAN: YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWERR TO THAY

ΘΣ: oh right.  
ΘΣ: I WAS THERE BECAUSE HE’D BEEN TURNED INTO A GOLDFISH BY A RUTAN MORPHOMATRIX  
ΘΣ: He asked me to go in his place while it wore off.

EL: I wna gidlfsg

LUCAS: goldfish?

ΘΣ: Yes, goldfish.  
ΘΣ: Don’t worry, cause he’s fine now.  
ΘΣ: Put him in an extra large tank with an emergency oxygen supply for when he finally did change back.  
ΘΣ: Of course, he did have an odd craving for fish food pellets for a while after that, but he got over that I think.

MIKE: you people are insane

SUSAN: wait, your having me on  
SUSAN: he was walking around normally  
SUSAN: if youd really replaced him, he woud’ve been walking with a cane

ΘΣ: I can divert some energy to injured limbs for a temporary fix, remember?  
ΘΣ: Had to keep that up all night.  
ΘΣ: Was tired as hell by the end of it, let me tell you.

SUSAN: oh hell that really was you  
SUSAN: …  
SUSAN: WAIT

ΘΣ: ?

SUSAN: THE BOTH OF US WENT THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE OF GETTING AWAY ONLY TO WIND UP RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER AGAIN!?  
SUSAN: AND DURING THAT, THE REAL MATT SMITH WAS STUCK AS A GOLDFISH?

ΘΣ: well, yes.

SUSAN: …where did you keep him?

ΘΣ: I told you to look after him, remember?  
ΘΣ: Don’t tell me you lost him.  
ΘΣ: I left him safely on the TARDIS in your care, ring any bells?  
  
SUSAN: …you know what this means, right?

ΘΣ:?

SUSAN: MORON  
SUSAN: IF I WAS AT THE AWARDS, AND YOU WERE AT THE AWARDS  
SUSAN: THAT MEANS IT WASN’T ME WHO YOU TOLD TO WATCH THE GOLDFISH  
SUSAN: IT WAS MILLIE  
SUSAN: YOU LEFT A HUMAN TEENAGER ON BOARD THE TARDIS  
SUSAN: WITH THE CONTROLS WIDE OPEN  
SUSAN: AND NO ONE TO BAIL HER OUT IF THINGS WENT PEAR-SHAPED

ΘΣ: …be mad at her.  
ΘΣ: She’s the one who didn’t tell you.  
ΘΣ: AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOU.

SUSAN: SHE COULD’VE ENDED UP GOD KNOWS WHERE

ΘΣ: BUT SHE DIDN’T.

SUSAN: SHE COULD HAVE

MIKE: Should we just go now?

WILLBYTHEUPSIDEDOWNGUY: yeah, t’s probly gonna be like this the rest of the night.

EL: ...  
EL: it me tho?


	8. The Complete Disaster That Was Catherine's Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, figured it was probably a good idea to post this over here since it’s very recommended reading, and reading through the entirety of the Doctor Who side of things isn’t fair to force on someone to get context. There’s not much you need to know, other than that the TARDIS crew just got done defending Will who was framed for a murder in 2018, so they’re trying to unwind during a quick pit-stop on Earth.
> 
> The whole thing is posted right here in one complete package, it has all the information you need to know. 
> 
> One final note: This might or might not be the last chapter for a while. Don't know, so I figured it was appropriate to come sort of full-circle.

In the streets of Hawkins, not far from the town square, a woman walked into a small clinic. More specifically, this woman was Cortana. Still a short time out from her due date, she was undergoing one of her regular doctors’ visits, in order to make sure everything was proceeding smoothly. John would’ve been with her this time around, but Hopper called him to the police station, something about a job offer.

“Misses Halsey.” The young receptionist greeted with a smile. “Good to see you again.” She handed Cortana a small clipboard. “You know the drill.”

Cortana nodded, quickly filling out the information. By now, she was at a point where she could fill in each blank in seconds and handed the completed form back over.

Cortana sighed, and sat down. She hated procedure like this.

****

“Cortana Halsey,” The doctor, a handsome stubbled man who looked only thirty at the most, greeted entering. “Is that you?”

“Yeah,” Cortana answered. “Where’s doctor Michelle?” She questioned.

“Out with a stomach virus, I’m afraid.” The man regretfully answered. “But don’t fret, you’re in good hands. Doctor Harold Saxon.” He bowed slightly.

“You look a little young to be a doctor.” Cortana replied, suspicious.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m more than capable.” Doctor Saxon replied. “In fact, you could say I’m a _Master_ at my craft…”

****

Will awkwardly jittered, walking out towards the TARDIS, parked in his backyard shed, night having long fallen on Hawkins.

Normally, the Doctor and Susan just skipped to the next weekend after dropping Will off, but Joyce was having none of that, keeping the Time Lord tethered to them in the proper sequence, because, and I quote; “If my son grows a third arm because of that freaky cream you gave him, I’m going to kill you.”

Which worked out for him.

Will approached and was about to slide his key into the lock, when the doors swung open on their own, absolutely no one standing behind them. Evidently, the TARDIS was grateful for him saving Susan’s life.

Speaking of Susan… that’s why he was here, he supposed. Instead of talking to her directly, however…

Will walked through the empty console room, down the winding, twisting corridors, hoping the ship would guide him to the Doctor.

Turns out, his hopes were well-founded, as he found himself standing outside the LEGO room, one of the Doctor’s preferred sanctums.

“Will!” The Doctor turned to him with a giant grin on his face, standing at the top of a stepladder. Despite his leg injury, he jumped down from the top, landing on his feet, running over to Will. “Look at that!” He pointed proudly.

Will blinked, awestruck momentarily. “Is that the Millennium Falcon?”

“One-to-one scale!” The Doctor giddily answered. “Built entirely out of LEGO! Best part: I put down the smooth bits, so you can walk around inside barefoot! Isn’t it great!?”

“Yeah…” Will smiled in agreement, thinking about the fit Dustin would have if he could see it. He shook his head, remembering what he came here to do. “Listen… Can we talk?”

The Doctor’s eyes widened as he paled. “Susan! Will’s having an emotion!”

“No!” Will placed a hand over the Doctor’s mouth. “I came here to talk to you because, well…” He nervously jittered. “I don’t want her to know right now.”

The Doctor blinked. “Tell you what, let’s take this somewhere else.”

****

“So,” The Doctor asked, setting a teacup down in front of Will, “What seems to be the problem?”

“It’s, um… You would say Susan and I are friends, right?”

“Will, that is a _gross_ understatement.” The Doctor replied.

“Okay then.” Will took a breath, psyching himself up. “So, she’s my best friend… And she… Well… She kissed me.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t look too surprised. “When?”

“A few days ago.” He answered. “After that mess with my trial, and the android.”

“Damn!” The Doctor cursed, as the lights overhead pulsed.

“What?” Will asked with concern.

“Lost the bet.” The Doctor sighed.

“Bet!?”

“Yeah, _I_ said it would take until a big holiday before you two started snogging each other’s faces off, and the TARDIS said otherwise.” He crossed his arms, grumbling. “That’s what I get for arguing with a time machine.”

“Wait, you…” Will began. “Placed bets on us!?”

“Yep.” The Doctor freely admitted. “Did it the moment you set foot on the TARDIS.”

Will spluttered, embarrassed. “Why?”

“Because you’re a teenage human male with a sensitive side, and she’s a pretty alien who’s very affectionate.” The Doctor answered. “It was a matter of _when_ , not if.”

Will scowled. “Any other bets I should know about?”

“No!” The Doctor quickly denied. “If I tell you, then that’ll throw it off!”

Will sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Look, I- I wanted to talk to you because… Well, I liked it.” He confessed. “And I like her… No… It might be too strong of a word, but I think I love her.”

“Haha!” The Doctor shot to his feet, triumphantly pumping his fists. “Hear that, dear? You owe me a new fez!” He directed to the TARDIS.

“Doctor!” Will said.

“Right, sorry.” He coughed. “But why tell me?”

“Well, you’re her dad…” Will awkwardly shifted, as if he thought the Doctor would snap at him at any moment. “I just thought-“

“Will,” The Doctor cut him off, dead serious. “Susan may be my child, but… She’s a woman too. It may be different for Earth teenagers, but for Time Lords… She doesn’t need me to shield her from the outside world anymore. That’s why I keep taking her places with me, even though it’s dangerous. I trust she can handle herself… And part of that trust is allowing her to forge relationships with whoever she likes.”

“…Thank you.” Will breathed out, relieved. “I didn’t know- I mean, I wasn’t sure-“ He sighed. “…There is something else, I might need your help with.”

“Oh?”

“How do I know? If she likes me back, I mean… She said she did, a while ago, but how do I know for sure?”

“Will,” The Doctor leaned forward. “She’s already created a marriage bond with you.”

“A _what_?” Will quietly asked.

“The deepest, most intense bond between a Time Lord, and whoever they make it with.” The Doctor answered. “She wasn’t lying when she said she could bond with you… But she didn’t tell you the full implications of it.”

Will spluttered, red. “You mean we’re, we-we-we-“ He inhaled, cutting himself off. “Oh my God, you’re my father-in-law. But how did you know!?” Will asked. “Susan and I, we did it without telling anyone!”

“There’s _nothing_ that goes on in the halls of this TARDIS that I don’t know about.” The Doctor answered, a bit chillingly. He suddenly smiled. “Just for future reference. So!” The Doctor clapped. “Now that the cat’s out of the bag, where to first?”

“…huh?”

“On your first date, silly!” The Doctor answered. “You can’t be married without having gone on a date! That’s just bad manners.”

Will looked on silently for a moment. “…How do I even ask her?”

“Well, just try to be all fidgety and generally awkward and rubbish.” The Doctor answered.

“What, why?”

“Because you’re going to be like that anyway, so, might as well make it part of the plan and then you can feel confident about it.” The Doctor answered. “Oh, do something about that smell too, while you’re at it.” He recommended.

Will glanced down. “But I put Axe on.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem.” The Doctor retorted. “Horrible sensory assault, that stuff… Don’t know how I pulled it off last regeneration…” He reached into his pocket. “Here.” He pulled out a bottle, throwing it to Will. “That’s not nearly as bad on our senses of smell.”

“Old Spice…”

The Doctor smiled, nodding, as he patted Will on the back. “Now then… Go get her.”

****

“Will,” Susan tilted her head, opening her bedroom door, “I thought you were asleep?”

“I was,” Will jittered, “But I got to thinking… Would, you, maybe…” The volume of his words died down to a mumble.

Susan raised an eyebrow. “Sorry?”

“I was w-wondering…” He blushed nervously, stuttering.

“Will,” Susan placed her hands on his shoulders, “Don’t speak, think it…”

“Oh, telepathy, right…” Will swallowed. _‘Would you like to go out with me sometime?’_

Susan’s eyes positively sparkled, a grin splitting her features, as she nodded. _‘Yes! Absolutely! It’s about time!’_

 _‘About time?’_ Will repeated in his head, a bit afraid.

 _‘I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask me out on a proper date.’_ She smiled. _‘No offense, but it’s not really a date if the Doctor is with us… and there’re lives at stake.’_

_‘I see what you mean. So… There’s an arcade in Hawkins. I was thinking we could hit it up tomorrow?’_

_‘Never been to a proper arcade before… Sounds like fun.’_

_‘Great! It’s a date!’_ Will smiled. _‘Oh, by the way… The Doctor told me something interesting… We’re going to have to talk about this ‘marriage bond’ thing.’_

Susan’s face flushed tomato red. _‘Oh, dear lord…’_

 _‘Relax, I’m not mad!’_ Will instantly tried to cover. _‘If I have to have anybody in my head, I’m glad it’s you… Besides, I don’t know why you’re embarrassed, it’s not like we consummated it or anything.’_

_‘WILL!’_

****

The next day came without much fanfare and passed much of the same way. Will attended school, getting worried (and even a couple of annoyed looks) from his friends, but his mind was elsewhere. The benefit of having another person in your mind, you always had someone to talk to.

When school finally let out, Will made a beeline straight for his house, sitting his bag down, before grabbing a shower, and looking through his closet for something nice.

Susan probably wouldn’t be too concerned with what he was wearing… but he wanted her to know he was trying for her. Looking through his clothes, he came to a decision to wear a simple white t-shirt, jeans, and a jacket. Not too extravagant, but presentable. Something was still off about it, though… It clicked a moment later.

“Mom,” Will came running out, worried that he might not have enough time. “Who’d you get to cut your hair?”

“The Doctor did it.” The woman answered, looking through the fridge for something to make.

“The Doctor?” Will repeated incredulously.

Joyce simply shrugged. “The Doctor. Why?”

“I’ve got a date!” He answered, running out towards the TARDIS.

Joyce almost dropped the ground beef she held in shock. “Date!?”

****

The Doctor made a show of throwing the same, cover… thing that barbers and the like used over Will.

“Now, what are we thinking?” The Doctor rattled off, a bit too into the whole ‘Barbering’ thing. “Buzzcut? The Einstein? How about we curl it?”

“Um…” Will pulled a photo out of his pocket, handing it over to the Doctor. It was the snapshot that had been pointed out during his trial, showing his robotic duplicate, with the short hair. “I was thinking this, actually.”

The Doctor took it, looked at the contents for a moment, before smiling and tossing it away. “Nice choice, does a good job of complimenting your jawline. Don’t know if it’s the case for Susan, but most females I’ve met like a strong chin.”

Will glanced at the Doctor. “Is that why you look like that?”

“No… Shut up!” The Doctor spluttered. “Wait a minute… You didn’t get into the parts of the media room that we blocked off, did you?” He leaned scrutinizing close towards Will.

“No, Susan just said she thought it was a good look on me…” Will shifted.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Great. Least I know whose fault it is if the paparazzi see you two and get the wrong idea about the wrong people. Now, hold still.” The Doctor ordered, snipping some scissors. “Don’t want to slip and nick something important.”

Will gulped, glancing at the scissors as the Doctor came in.

****

“See, what did I tell you!” The Doctor gestured at the mirror proudly. “You look like a million bucks! See, most people forget this, but hair is actually one of the most important factors that accentuates certain facial features. With that bowl cut, you looked like a boy, but now you look like a _man._ ” The Doctor suddenly huffed. “If that’s what you prefer. Could never get the hang of looking manly. It’s,” He gestured to his face. “The beard doesn’t come in quite right, makes me look like a twelve-year old who glued some bits of hair to his face and called it a day.”

Will, unsure of how to respond, simply said; “…Great.”

“It is great!” The Doctor responded. “My handiwork. I was a bit worried in the middle of it, but I think it turned out pretty good. Now,” He patted Will on the back, sending the teenager on his way. “Be gentlemanly, get her back before midnight, and if you do something to make her angry with you… My advice is this; shack up with the Platypi.”

Will turned around in surprise, as the Doctor shoved him out into the hallway, slamming the door. “Platypi!?”

“They sweat milk, good source of calcium when you’re out in the doghouse!” The Doctor called in response.

Will shook his head and began the trek to Susan’s room.

The Doctor let out a sigh. “Now… Will and Susan out of the TARDIS…” He considered, slipping off his frock coat and boots.

Hitting a lever on the wall, a hammock fell from the ceiling. The Time Lord, despite the pain it would cause him in his leg, took a running jump, landing in the hammock perfectly.

“It’s time for some me time.” The Doctor smiled to himself, leaning his head back on his hands, Bob the Builder playing on the screen above.

An electric tingle began to crackle in the air, and looking around in surprise, the Doctor could see a faint blue glow surrounding him.

Trying to sprint for his coat to grab the sonic screwdriver, the Doctor vanished in a pillar of light, his coat left behind.

****

Will twiddled his thumbs nervously, as he walked up to Susan’s door, knocking.

“Just a second!” She replied.

Will jittered for a moment, before the door slid open, and he was met with Susan.

The two of them stood there, staring at each other, awestruck.

Susan, who hadn’t worn makeup since he met her, had put some on, making her entire face look like it gently, angelically shined, and Will looked on. He’d considered her attractive, yes, even for an alien, but her makeup only added to that, and Will was positively enraptured.

Susan too, was struck by Will’s appearance. “You got rid of the bowl.” She said.

“I did.” He confirmed, finding his words. “You’re not wearing your suit.”

Susan looked down at what she was wearing, a blue jumper and jeans. “I could change-“

“No!” Will quickly replied. “You look good.”

Susan blushed. “Well… You don’t look so bad yourself. So… Arcade?”

Will held out his arm for her to take. “Right this way.”

****

Sweet Dreams blared from the Arcade’s speakers as the two teenagers, one a fifteen going-on-sixteen from Earth, the other a three-hundred-year-old from Gallifrey, found themselves losing themselves in the games.

“Go, go!” Will cheered Susan on, as she stood behind the controls. “You’re almost there!”

Shortly after arriving in the arcade, Susan found herself pulled into Donkey Kong… and then made either the best, or worst impulse decision Will had ever seen. She was trying to beat Billy Mitchell’s world-record winning high score.

A feat she’d already accomplished. Now, she was going to blow it out of the water.

A crowd of gamers of all ages watched, as Susan seemed to become one with the game, jumping and moving at the exact correct moments to maximize her scoring.

“Holy shit!” Lucas, of all people, pushed through the crowd, popped into existence behind them. “Guys, look at the score!”

“Nine-hundred thousand!?” Dustin incredulously looked at the score counter, rounding down.

“No way,” Mike pushed him out of the way, “…no way.”

Max clapped her hands, giving Susan a pat on the back. “Go, girl, go!”

“Stop talking!” Susan commanded. She reached the top of the level, and Donkey Kong fell. She and Will watched with bated breath, and the score counter ticked over.

“ONE MILLION!” The two whooped triumphantly.

“Ha ha!” Susan laughed.

“We did it!” Will cheered, pulling her into a hug, as the crowd behind them cheered as well. “Somebody get the Guinness Book of World records!”

“And somebody call Billy Mitchell too, tell him his record’s been busted!” Susan turned to look at the Party. “Hey, guys, how’s it hanging?”

“She’s hot and she likes video games…” Dustin breathed. “Will, where did you _find_ this girl?”

Will began stammering, while Susan just laughed.

****

“So, a million points.” Mike began, sitting directly across from Will and Susan, the alien teenager eating a slice of pizza. “How long did it take for that to happen?”

“Well,” Susan began speaking before Will could get a word out, “Will and I came here at around… five-ish? We were going to stay for a little while, and then there was somewhere else he wanted to take me for the rest of our date, but I saw Donkey Kong, and I got a bit sidetracked.”

“So, you guys have been here for the past five hours trying to break that record?” Lucas asked, drinking a soda.

“Three.” Will corrected. “We’d been playing other stuff for the first two.”

“Yeah, I broke the high scores on everything else in this place.” Susan boasted. “Except for Dig Dug.”

“Thanks.” Max somewhat sarcastically replied, before something hit her. “Wait, earlier, you said date… Oh my God, we’re not interrupting, are we?”

“Yes.” Will stated.

“No.” Susan said at the same time. They glanced at each other, before turning back. “Yes, but you guys aren’t unwelcomed.” She spoke up for both.

Will frowned, as he looked over the group. “Where’s El?” He asked. “I thought she was starting to get out more often.”

“She’s helping John search.” Dustin answered.

Will’s eyebrows shot up. “Search? For what?”

“Dude, have you been living under a rock?” Dustin retorted. “For Cortana, man! She’s missing.”

Will felt an icy spike drive into his heart. “…Missing?”

****

The Doctor drew in a massive gulp of air, shooting to his feet, frantically looking around. The architecture was very obviously Time Lord, TARDIS default if he wasn’t mistaken, but it felt wrong… sinister.

A woman was sitting down and looked up at the Doctor. “Doctor…”

The Doctor checked himself, before quickly noticing his perception filter to keep people from recognizing his face was gone. “Hello again.” He said. “Cortana, was it?”

“It’s you…” She got to her feet. “You’re here.” The AI-turned-woman looked the Time Lord up and down.

The Doctor threw out his arms. “I’m here.”

“I knew someone would find me!” She began excitedly. “Did John send you? El?”

The Doctor gave the woman a regrettable smile. “No, on either count I’m afraid. What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.” Cortana sighed. “One minute, I was at the hospital getting a check-up, and then… I woke up here. Wherever here is.”

The Doctor glanced at her, before taking in more detail of their surroundings. They were in a hexagonal room, floor polished completely white, the walls the same shade, broken by the yellow roundels. “You don’t know?”

“No.” Cortana admitted. “Do you?”

“I have some suspicions.” The Doctor replied. _‘Some very nasty suspicions.’_ He glanced at her. “Check-up?”

“Yeah.” Cortana gestured down to her stomach, which protruded slightly.

“Oh, how long!?” The Doctor excitedly asked.

“About six months.” Cortana answered.

“Well, don’t worry, I’ll get you and your baby out of here safe and sound. You have my word.” He pledged, feeling the wall. “Aha.” He stopped, upon finding a small seam.

“What is it?” Cortana asked.

“The door.” The Doctor answered, taking a step back, frowning. “It’s locked… I’ve got an idea.”

“Which is?”

The Doctor’s nose scrunched up, “We wait.”

****

“…So, where’d you last see her?” Susan asked, looking over the group.

“She’d gone to the hospital for a check-up on the baby.” John answered, the man looking haggard like he’d been up all night, probably because he had been.

Will, upon learning of the news, called for the date to end, going into what Susan had deemed ‘traveling hero’ mode, demeanor changing to what he acted like when there was trouble going down. Susan, too, had shifted into investigator mode.

The rest of the Party had doubts that Susan could help, but the moment she ‘deduced’ the group’s involvement with the government and interdimensional monsters, they decided to reconvene at John’s cabin. The SPARTAN had his misgivings, but Susan flashed the psychic paper, whatever was written on it allaying his fears.

“And when was this?” Susan asked, glancing around the cabin for any sign of clues.

“Just yesterday.” John answered.

“Why weren’t you with her?” Will asked.

“Hopper had something to talk to me about.” John replied. “Joyce talked him into running for mayor, and he needs someone to replace him as Police Chief, something he doesn’t trust Powell or Callaghan to do.”

Susan and Will glanced at each other.

 _‘Chief Halsey, Hawkins 2018… Obviously, he accepts it.’_ Susan thought at Will. “Who was the last person to see her?” She asked of John aloud.

“The doctor.” El stated for John.

“Doctor… Doctor who?” Susan repeated at a mumble, fearing that the Time Lord had pulled the woman into something while Susan and Will were on their date.

“Thing is, Cortana’s disappearance isn’t the only one connected to him.”

Will raised an eyebrow. “She’s not the only one? Who else is missing?”

It was Max, arms crossed defensively over herself, who spoke up next. “Neil…”

“Neil?” Will repeated. “As in Neil Hargrove?”

“No, Will, Neil Diamond,” She sarcastically shot back, “Yes, Neil Hargrove!”

Will looked at all the members of the group. “How long’s he been gone?”

“About… Two days?” Mike spoke up.

“That doctor was the last one to see both of them.” John explained.

Susan looked towards John. “What did you say this doctor’s name was?”

“Harold Saxon.”

Susan took a sharp intake of breath. It was so much worse than what she had thought.

****

The doors on one of the pristine white walls swung open, and the Master strode in, clapping and laughing.

“You’re up!” The Master giggled. “I was worried the teleport would jumble up the old synapses…”

The Doctor stood, glowering at his ancient frenemy. “Kidnapping me out of my own TARDIS? Okay, that’s par for the course. But a pregnant woman who hasn’t done anything to you?” He growled.

“Oh, straight to business, are we?” The Master rhetorically asked. “I was hoping to catch up.”

The Doctor’s fists clenched. “Let. Her. Go.”

“Hmm, let me think… How about no?” The Master retorted. “See, she’s kind of important to what I have planned.” He told the Doctor, stage-whispering.

“I don’t even know you!” Cortana spoke up.

“Hush, sweetheart, mummy and daddy are talking.” The Master shot at Cortana.

The Doctor let out a rueful chuckle. “You know, you always were the stupid one out of the two of us, but this takes the cake. I’ve beaten you so many times, I’ve lost count. And now, you brought me here, right where I can do the most damage.”

“Well, you’re half-right.” The Master shrugged. “I mean, I did bring you here.”

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I needed you somewhere where you couldn’t do any harm, here we are.” The Master gestured around. “A Doctor-proof prison.”

“So, I’m your prisoner?” The Doctor sarcastically, bitingly laughed in the Master’s face.

“For now.” The Master replied. “See, I know better than to try and kill you. You always find a way out of it. But, I will give you one last request. A meal. Because I’m nice like that.”

The Doctor began wracking his brain. “A banana.”

The Master’s eyebrow shot up. “A banana?”

“Yes, cavendish, a whole bunch of nice, firm, yellow ones if you’re feeling particularly generous, your lordship.” The Doctor sarcastically bowed. “Oh, and it has to have the peel. That’s the best part. Nice and crunchy.”

The Master looked at the Doctor, disgusted. “Looks like I’m not the sociopath around here…” He muttered, walking out.

“See?” The Doctor turned to Cortana as the door shut. “Patience pays off.”

****

“Harold Saxon.” Susan strode into the TARDIS with a purpose. “AKA the Master.”

“The Master!?” Will repeated, the door slamming shut behind him. The others were waiting in his house, anticipating their return. “He’s back.”

“Of course he’s back. He always comes back.” Susan sighed, leaning on the console. “Hello.” She frowned, as an alert popped up on the scanner.

“What is it?” Will asked.

“There’s been a teleport breach.” Susan repeated. Her eyes widened, and she began frantically typing something into the keypad.

“What are you doing?” Will asked.

“Doing a lifeform scan.” She answered. “Oh, no…” Susan looked at the results, which proclaimed her and Will to be the only two lifeforms on-board and gulped. “The Doctor’s gone.”

“Well… That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Good!?” Susan repeated, whipping around.

“W-Well, yeah.” Will stuttered. “If the Master’s taken Cortana, and now the Doctor’s missing, that means he’s with her. They can help each other out.”

“Right, okay…” Susan nodded. “…I’m still worried.”

“I know.” Will empathized. “But, he’s the Doctor, he’ll think of something.”

****

The Doctor snorted, as he counted the time since the Master had left. Waiting for a few minutes, the Doctor set into work.

“What are you doing?” Cortana asked.

“Getting us out of here.” He answered, tossing the banana the sinister Time Lord had provided, around in his hand.

“With a banana?” Cortana huffed. “Eating’s a good way to stave off starvation, but I don’t see how that’s going to help.”

“Here’s a little secret:” The Doctor retorted. “I don’t like bananas because they’re good sources of potassium.”

“What?”

“I like bananas…” The Doctor grinned, stepping back from the door. “Because the stems are perfect for lockpicking.” He glanced at Cortana, gesturing for her to follow. “Come on.”

She stood there for a moment, as the Doctor excitedly took charge, running into the corridors.

****

“I’m starting to get more than a bit worried.” Susan bit her fingernails, looking at the screen.

“What’s wrong?” Will leaned in.

“The TARDIS’s scans aren’t picking anything up, from either of them.” Susan took a shaky breath. “The Master’s blocking the sensors.” She glanced at Will. “Did you get El to look for her?”

Will sighed. “Tried. She’s not picking anything up… Like she’s hitting a brick wall.”

Susan let out a frustrated breath, leaning against the console. “Three hours of scanning. Nothing… I just hope that they’re doing alright.”

****

Two hours of walking through the corridors of the Master’s TARDIS left the Doctor frustrated, and Cortana deeply unsettled.

The corridors twisted and turned in unnatural ways, paths should’ve lead back in on themselves led to different sections of the ship, the ambient humming felt like a jackhammer driving into her skull, and the mere act of looking at the metal of the ship strained her eyes, like there was something beyond the outer surface that couldn’t be precepted.

“Where are we going?” Cortana asked.

“God only knows.” The Doctor replied, turning another corner. “I’ve never been this far deep into a hostile TARDIS before. How exciting.”

“Great, so when we die from all the hostile defenses, at least we won’t be bored.” Cortana sarcastically muttered.

“That’s the spirit!” The Doctor grinned. “Oh, hello.” He came to a stop, in front of a door that looked significantly different to all the other doors they’d passed so far. “What’s in here, I wonder…” The Doctor murmured, slowly stepping forward.

“Is that a good idea?” Cortana tried to tell him.

“Yes. Maybe. Probably not.” The Doctor replied. “Still, let’s take a look-see.” He pushed the metal doors opened, and froze, walking slowly inside like his body was on autopilot. “No…” He breathed, looking at the fragments of bronze and gold metal dotted about. “Oh, no…”

“I was wondering how long it’d take you to find this place.” The Master suddenly appeared at the threshold of the door, the aperture sealing behind him.

“Are you insane!?” The Doctor bellowed instantly.

“Certifiably.” The Master replied.

“You know as well as I do there’s no controlling that kind of destructive power!” The Doctor roared.

“Hm… False, I’ll go false.” The Master retorted

“This isn’t a game!”

“Doctor, what is it?” Cortana asked, unsettled by the Doctor’s rage.

“Allow me,” The Master stated. “You see, these,” He gestured to the metal fragments, and the scattered bits of technology, some looking like old plungers, others like egg-whisks. “Are all the technological components to build a certain sort of casing. But, I needed something to… pilot it, as it were.”

“We’d rather die!” The Doctor spoke up for himself and Cortana.

“Oh, did you think I meant you?” The Master laughed. “That’d be funny… If it wasn’t so far off the mark. No, I needed someone who was already hateful… Found the perfect candidate in old Mister Hargrove.”

“Hargrove!?” Cortana repeated. “Neil Hargrove!?”

“That’s the one!” The Master beamed. “Mister Hargrove, if you’ll come out, please!” He shot into a darkened corner of the room.

“You…” The thing that, at one point, used to be Neil Hargrove stated weakly.

“No…” The Doctor breathed in fear, pushing Cortana behind him. “This is sick.” He shot to the Master. “Even for you.”

The Master shrugged, grinning. “What can I say? I’ve leveled up my game since then.”

“YOU ARE THE DOCTOR!” The thing that used to be Hargrove emerged from the shadows, screaming, lights on the top of a bronze dome flashing. “YOU ARE AN EN-EM-EY OF THE DALEKS! YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED! EXTERMINATE!

EXTERMINATE!

EX-TER-MIN-ATE!”

“Hold it,” The Master held out a hand in front of the Dalek, as it inched closer to the Doctor and Cortana.

“THE DOCTOR IS THE ENEMY!” The Dalek retorted. “HE MUST BE DESTROYED!”

“I have a different mission for you.” The Master replied. “Search your databanks, for this woman and the Doctor’s known associates.”

“SCANNING.” The Dalek reported. “SEARCH COMPLETE.”

“Now… Track them down.” The Master ordered. “Exterminate every one of them.”

“BUT THE DOCTOR IS A THREAT!” The Dalek stated.

“The Doctor is required.” The Master replied, hands clasped behind his back. “Those people are the only ones capable of rescuing him. Kill them all.”

“I…” The Dalek began, sounding rather like it was talking through gritted teeth for a creature that could only yell. “I OBEY!” It proclaimed, wheeling out of the room, towards its targets.

“Where’s it going!?” Cortana demanded.

“Quiet.” The Master ordered, snapping his fingers, as two forcefields appeared around the two.

“This is sick.” The Doctor growled. “Engineering Daleks from humans… I thought even you weren’t capable of something so monstrous. How many?” He demanded.

“Just the one.” The Master replied. “See, all I really wanted was you... and her. But I have to make sure your… friends, heh, are otherwise occupied.”

The Doctor felt a chill run down his spine. “Need us for what?”

The Master turned away, looking at a broken bit of Dalek casing. “Do you remember when we ran into each other in that school?” He inquired. “I said the Time Lords had come back…”

The Doctor barred his teeth. “And then you killed them all again.”

“I did… but then, I got to thinking… Doctor, you’d say you were my friend, right?”

“Always.” The Doctor replied, unhesitant for even a single second.

“And our little dances of cat and mouse have been some of the best fun I’ve ever had…” The Master reflected fondly upon his old feud with the Doctor. “But… It’s gotten a bit tiring, don’t you think? These constant back-and-forths, one of us killing the other.”

“Genocide is a bit more than just a back and forth.” The Doctor replied curtly.

“It is…” The Master said. “But, let’s be honest with ourselves here, the Time Lords were never particularly too great. The lot of them were pompous, stuffy windbags, with poles so far up their backsides they’d need surgery to be removed… And they nearly destroyed the universe, do you recall?”

“…Of course I remember.” The Doctor quietly answered.

_A barn stood on the far horizon, Gallifrey’s normally orange sky tinted an unnatural blue as fallout from the War polluted the atmosphere._

_The Doctor walked, ancient bones creaking and popping as he hefted a weapon even his people feared on his back. It felt like eons since he’d just… sat down. But it was almost over._

_He’d see this war end._

_No more… No more._

“But then, you saved them!” The Master raised an angry finger. “He, she-!” The Master shook with impotent fury. “After all they had done! Billions of the most corrupt people to ever exist in all of creation, and _she_ pulled them out of the fire! They called it the Day of the Doctor… I called it the universe’s death knell.”

“Why do you care!?” The Doctor furiously bellowed.

“The Time Lords tormented me for my entire life!” The Master retorted. “Do you really they’d just snap back to how they were before because the War was over!? I knew it, the you who saved them knew it, but they just didn’t want to feel bad anymore! But… You can rest easy. Because this time… It wasn’t you who pulled the trigger.”

“…Why?” The Doctor questioned. “Why tell me this now? And why bring her into it?” He gestured to Cortana.

“Because…” The Master gritted his teeth, like the words about to come out of his mouth were a fight. “You were right. There was a version of you who showed me that change was possible… And if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for them too.”

The Doctor drew a shocked breath. “You’re not saying…”

“Help me, Doctor.” The Master requested. “The Time Lords are all gone now, and it is my fault… But with your help, we can rebuild them, mold the new Time Lords into the caretakers the universe deserves… You’ve been gone for too long. It’s time to come back home.”

The Doctor stood there, staring at the Master. “…You still haven’t answered my other question. What does Cortana have to do with this?”

“…River Song.” The Master replied, the Doctor quickly understanding what he was getting at. “Who should’ve been a normal human, turned proto-Time Lord by exposure to the time vortex in utero. Congratulations, Misses Halsey,” The Master turned to Cortana, “Your child will be the first of an entirely new species.”

****

Susan let out a frustrated sigh at the lifeform scan. For the eighth time, it swept the area, set to detect anything alien.

Suddenly, the results returned positive, and Susan’s head shot up. She sighed, as the scan returned negative for anything Time Lord, but once she got a good look at the screen, her hearts stopped.

‘Life-Form Detected: fundamental DNA type 467-989. DALEK.’

Susan quickly punched in a few commands and highlighted the section of the map showing the Dalek.

It was heading their way and moving quickly.

“Get your friends in here!” Susan commanded Will.

“But they don’t know about-“

“NOW!”

****

John paced back and forth in the kitchen of the Byers household, waiting for Will and Susan to come back.

“Don’t worry, dad…” El tried to comfort him, but she herself was just as worried. “I’m sure they’re coming up with something.”

“Just who is this guy anyway?” Lucas mumbled.

“I know,” Mike agreed, arms crossed. “First he kidnaps Will, now he’s dating the guy’s daughter, and the guy’s living out in Will’s shed? Creepy as hell, if you ask me.”

“I think it’s cool.” Max spoke up. “The guy’s willing to do whatever for his kid’s happiness.”

“…I just wish they’d hurry up.” Mike stated. “Feels weird sitting in here just by ourselves.”

“Where is Joyce?” Lucas wondered.

“With Hopper, I think.” Mike answered. “Didn’t ask for much beyond that.”

“Guys…?” Dustin suddenly spoke up, looking out the window. “Do you see that?”

“See what?” Mike moved over, looking out. Something was flying high in the air, slowly coming down to the ground. The silhouette of the thing was rather like a pepper shaker, with angular body panels and a domed head.

“Guys!” Will came running in through the back door. “You have to get out back, now!”

“But-“ Dustin tried to speak.

“BY ORDER OF THE DALEKS, YOU WILL SURRENDER!” The Dalek outside commanded.

El, who had seen those things before, if only on the TV, inhaled in fear.

“Go!” Will commanded. “Move, move!”

“Will, what’s-“ John began.

“I’ll explain when we’re safe, now get in the shed!” Will bellowed, pushing his friends out through the door in the kitchen.

Will had been the last one out, just barely making it outside, before the Dalek out front screeched something.

“ALLOCATED SURRENDER PERIOD EXPIRED. CONSEQUENCE: EXTERMINATION.” The Dalek proclaimed. “EXTERMINATE!” Was all the warning it gave, before it fired a shot, and Will’s house went up in flames.

“Holy shit!” Mike yelled.

“The shed, move, move!” Will bellowed, pulling the old wooden door open.

El and John, recognizing the TARDIS, took in a breath, as Will pushed the blue double-doors open.

“In, in!” Will commanded, as the Dalek began to approach from around the side of the house.

“What good’s a wooden box going to do!?” Max demanded.

“Just shut up and get in!” Will yelled, as the Dalek emerged from the flames.

The group took one look at the Dalek, and the destruction it had caused single-handedly, before running into the TARDIS, doors slamming behind them.

“Take off, anywhere but here!” Will turned to the console, Susan springing into action in response, launching the TARDIS.

The ship shook, but stabilized, and Susan let out a relieved breath. “Thank God. I thought we were doomed.”

Max, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin looked around the inside of the TARDIS in shock and awe. It wasn’t long, however, before one of them found their words again.

“What… the hell… was that!?” Dustin yelled. “What the hell is this place!? Who the hell are you!?”

“That was-“ Susan began.

“A Dalek.” El finished, taking a slow step forward. “It’s you… isn’t it?”

“Well… I don’t suppose there’s any reason to hide it now.” Susan considered, removing her perception filter. “Hello again.”

The four, who were not accustomed to seeing Susan’s real face, gasped in unison.

“El…” Mike spoke up, eyes wide. “Who is this?”

“I’m Susan.” Susan answered for herself. “Welcome aboard the TARDIS… My home.”

“It’s…” Lucas spluttered, looking around. “Bigger on the inside.”

Susan nodded, “It is.”

Dustin looked around, at the unfamiliar technology and text dotting the room. “It’s alien.”

“It is.” Susan repeated.

Max looked at Susan, looking her up and down. “…Are you an alien?”

Susan paused for a moment, before nodding. “I am.”

“Will went missing…” El’s eyebrows knit together, frowning. “Did you abduct him?” She demanded, looking angry.

“Not intentionally.” Susan replied, looking at her double. “It was an accident, I swear. We found him in New York during the Great Depression, and were trying to get him home, asap.” She glanced at the others. “See, Will was telling the truth when he said he was traveling… He just neglected to mention it was all of time and space.”

“Good God…” Mike breathed. “You’re an alien… a space alien… Get away!” He snarled, pulling El back.

“Mike, what are you-“ Will began.

“She’s one of them, Will!” Mike pointed. “She could flay our minds at any second, make us her puppets! This is the Primordial, all over again!”

Susan, to her credit, didn’t look offended. Only severely annoyed, as she walked over to Mike. “Okay, time to sleep.” She said, touching his temple. Instantly, Mike clocked out, having to be caught by El.

“What’d you do!?” El demanded.

“Put him to sleep, he was being annoying.” Susan retorted. Suddenly, she scowled. “And it’s not polite to prod at your host with mind powers!” She stated, brushing away an invisible arm.

El looked like she was about ready to murder.

“That thing outside.” John stepped forward, trying to put himself in between the two ‘twins.’ “What was it?”

Susan looked at him. “One of the most perverted, sickening, evil killing machines ever to exist. A Dalek.”

The members of the Party glanced at each other.

“How did it get here?” Dustin asked.

Susan suddenly frowned. “You know what, that’s a good question.” She turned to the TARDIS console. “That Dalek shouldn’t exist… Unless-“

“The Master has something to do with it.” Will finished.

“Who?” Max questioned.

“An evil alien who used to be the principal at our school until Susan and I dealt with him.” Will explained. “And the one who’s responsible for kidnapping Cortana, and the Doctor.”

“Doctor?” Lucas repeated.

“My father.” Susan stated, punching in commands into the scanner. “Aha!”

“What is it?” Will looked over.

“The Daleks power themselves by drawing energy from the time vortex,” Susan explained, “Harmless to living tissue, but it sticks out like a nuke going off in space!”

“We can trace it!” Will snapped his fingers.

“Right back to the source!” Susan agreed. “Right, everyone, hold on!” She advised, before throwing the lever, sending the TARDIS careening towards its destination.

****

The Doctor stood at Cortana’s side, the woman laying down strapped to a medical bed, as machines bleeped and blooped, showing a scan of the embryo growing inside her.

“We’ll start by accelerating the growth of the embryo.” The Master explained, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, letting the Doctor work. “As the growth proceeds, we’ll expose you to small doses of the Time Vortex.”

Cortana pulled at one of her restraints.

“Don’t try to struggle. You’ll just hurt yourself.” The Doctor advised, examining the equipment. “I’ll need you to open your TARDIS’s engines.” The Doctor informed the Master.

The Master bowed slightly, and turned, heading off to do just that.

“Why?” Cortana sked, looking up at the Doctor. “Why are you doing this?”

The Doctor glanced at the retreating form of the other Time Lord. “I need him to think I’m on his side.” The Doctor whispered. “You and your baby will get out of here just fine; you have my word. I have a plan, but I need you to cooperate.”

Cortana looked into the Doctor’s eyes, glowering. The Time Lord was unreadable, as always, but there was a hint of pleading, as well as deep-seated regret at what he was doing.

She didn’t have to like it, but if they were going to get out of there, she needed to go with the Doctor’s plan.

Reluctantly, the woman sighed, and nodded in agreement. “Alright.”

“Thanks.” The Doctor offered. “The Master thinks I’ve finally gone over to the dark side, so to speak. I can feel it coming off him. I don’t think he’ll be expecting anything otherwise.”

“So…” Cortana gulped. “What’s your plan?”

“We go along with the Master’s plan.” The Doctor answered. “To a point. Just try to keep calm.”

“Just…” Cortana stuttered. “Answer me this: is my baby going to be okay?”

“I already said-“

“Tell me, explicitly.” Cortana demanded.

The Doctor glanced at her, saying nothing.

****

The TARDIS settled with a thud, as Susan looked at the console scanner. “I’ve put us as close as I can. There’s another TARDIS out there, if we materialize any closer, we could cause a time ram.” She glanced over to the side, where El and John stood. The SPARTAN was clad in his green armor, the TARDIS having stopped off to retrieve it, and El looked ready for a fight. “You ready?”

John and El looked at each other and nodded.

“Right,” Susan turned away from the scanner, grabbing her sonic screwdriver from the plug on the console, tucking it into the pocket of her jeans. “There’s no telling what we’ll find out there, so be careful.”

“Wait,” Mike stepped forward to stop them, “What about that Dalek thing?”

“We’ll deal with it after we rescue Cortana and the Doctor.” Susan declared. “The three of us will look for them, the rest of you will stay in here.”

“But it blew up Will’s house!” Dustin replied.

“Yeah,” Max concurred, “What’s a little blue box going to do?”

“Susan’s right.” Will spoke up, looking at the rest of them. “Right now, the TARDIS is the safest place in the universe. She won’t let anything happen to us.”

“She,” Lucas pointed, “is leaving us in here to go deal with a crazy alien.”

“I was talking about the TARDIS.” Will stated. He looked up at the ceiling. “Isn’t that right?”

The lights overhead pulsed happily, as the others except for Susan looked at Will like he was mad.

“Alright, well,” Susan clapped her hands, pulling the door open. “Let’s go rescue them.” John and El followed her out, the doors slamming shut behind them.

“Hold on!” Mike called, running over to the door. He pulled it open, but the door yanked itself free of his grip, slamming shut again. Mike repeated the action, the door slamming shut one final time, before locking.

Mike tried to tug on the locked door, the pieces of faux wood refusing to budge. The group of teenagers turned to Will for an explanation, looking slightly frightened.

Will was the picture of calm, as he shrugged. “I told you. The TARDIS won’t let anything happen to us.”

Mike let out a frustrated sigh, as he banged on the door, and flopped down. It was all they could do now to wait.

****

The trio walked through the darkened woods, far on the other side of Hawkins, Susan listening to the frequency of her sonic screwdriver’s buzzing, using the device to track the remaining Artron energy back to its source.

The buzzing became so high-pitched, it was almost inaudible, as Susan walked around a tree, keeping the screwdriver trained on it.

“Here it is. The Master’s TARDIS.” Susan stated, putting the screwdriver away, as she felt around for something to open the time capsule. Pressing her hand against the broken stub of a branch, a seam suddenly split up the middle of the trunk, and the two sides slid open. “Keyed to respond to Gallifreyan DNA.” Susan explained, turning to the other two. “Looks like he didn’t count on me. Ready?”

John nodded first, and fire sprung up in El’s eyes, as Susan took the lead into the living timeship, which radiated out malcontent and malice.

Unbeknownst to them, however, something even more sinister was quite close.

****

The Dalek came to the ground, having tracked the Doctor’s TARDIS from its departure at the now-destroyed Byers house.

It glided over the uneven terrain, the rocks and fallen branches proving to be no hinderance to it, as the Dalek came to a stop in front of the blue box.

“EXTERMINATE!” The Dalek screeched, firing upon the ship. An aqua beam of energy lanced out from its gunstick, directly for the doors.

The beam of energy abruptly stopped before tearing into the doors, blocked by an invisible barrier.

“TRIBOPHYSICAL WAVEFORM MACRO-KINETIC EXTRAPOLATOR SHIELDING DETECTED!” The Dalek’s eyestalk moved up and down, as it looked for any weakness in the forcefield it could exploit.

Could it glare, the Dalek would surely be doing so.

The Dalek abruptly stopped looking the TARDIS up and down, as it turned towards the Master’s TARDIS.

“PRIORITY TARGETS DETECTED.” The Dalek proclaimed, before moving in the direction of the other TARDIS.

****

The five inside the Doctor’s TARDIS looked on at the console scanner, going cold.

“It’s going to kill them!” Mike breathed in horror, running back over to the door. “Let me out!” He demanded of the TARDIS, tugging on the doors. “Let me out!”

“Mike, calm down.” Will tried to tell him, placing a hand on Mike’s shoulder.

“No!” Mike bellowed. “I’m not going to let El die!”

“Mike!” Will pulled him around to look at his face. “I don’t know much about the Daleks, but the way Susan describes them… There’s _nothing_ we can do. It’ll slaughter every one of us in a nanosecond without a second thought.”

“There…” Mike looked at the door despondently. “There has to be something.”

“Maybe…” Will frowned, biting the inside of his cheek. _‘Heads up, you’ve got a Dalek heading your way.’_ He shot to Susan, before walking over to the console screen.

“What are you doing?” Max asked.

“The Doctor’s a bit scatterbrained, he has to write things down to remember them.” Will explained, as he searched through the TARDIS databanks.

“So, what are you looking for?” Dustin correctly asked.

“A phone number.” Will answered. “Susan’s mom’s, actually.” The TARDIS, upon hearing what Will was searching for, brought the data up herself, flashing it across the screen in big numbers.

“Thanks.” Will said to the TARDIS, punching the number into the keypad next to the phone on the console. Holding the phone up to his ear, it rung, being picked up a second later. “Um, yeah, is this Shepard? I need help.”

The other four watched as Will awkwardly stammered. “Yeah. With a Dalek.”

The phone abruptly hung up, and Will looked down at it in confusion, as another TARDIS began to materialize.

****

“What…” El shivered, pulling her arms around herself, as they walked deeper into the depths of the Master’s TARDIS. “What’s wrong with this place?”

Susan glanced in her direction. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“It feels… wrong.” El insisted. “Evil.”

“Good eye,” Susan complimented. “TARDISes usually reflect their pilots’ personalities. Don’t worry, we’ll get out of here asap.”

“Where is the Master?” John asked, keeping his assault rifle at the ready.

“Don’t know.” Susan admitted. “I’m just following the DNA traces of the Doctor.”

“How much farther?” El inquired.

“Don’t know.” Susan repeated.

“How-“ John began.

Susan whipped back around. “Look, you two are worried, I get it. I’m worried too. But right now, we need to focus.” Her eyes focused on a shadow cast on the far wall behind them, and she drew in a terrified breath. “Run.”

“What?” El asked, as Susan abruptly turned.

“Run!” Susan commanded, pulling the identical girl behind her, as she fled down a corridor. “Master Chief, move!” She ordered, as John stood his ground.

The Dalek began to turn the corner, eyestalk locking on the SPARTAN in the far distance.

“I can fight it.” John stated.

“I’m older than the country you’re living in,” Susan pulled at the SPARTAN. “Trust me when I say; there is no way in hell you can fight that Dalek!”

“EXTERMINATE!” The Dalek declared, firing in their direction.

The beam struck John first, and the SPARTAN was thrown to the floor.

“Dad!” El screamed, throwing out an arm to push the Dalek away.

“I’m fine,” John grunted, getting to his feet. His eyes focused on the shield bar at the top of his HUD, which wasn’t moving back up.

The Dalek’s shot hadn’t just drained his shields, it completely fried them.

“See what I mean!? Now, _run!”_ Susan bellowed, taking the lead down the corridor as the Dalek began to pursue.

If it caught up to them…

They were dead meat.

****

“How goes it, Doctor?” The Master questioned, moving to the side of his fellow Time Lord.

The Doctor spared the Master only a cold glance. “It’s going.” Was all he replied with, before focusing back on the medical equipment. Cortana lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, looking absolutely sick to herself.

The Doctor didn’t blame her. This was starting to scare him too. He had a plan, sure, but if he let her in on the particulars…

She’d never cooperate.

“Going how?” The Master pushed past the Doctor, to look at the equipment.

“The baby’s growth is now that of a normal fetus at the end of its development.” The Doctor explained clinically, trying to distance himself from what was going to have to happen.

“Very good… I wasn’t sure accelerating growth like that would be possible.” The Master stated, turning to the Doctor. “But you pulled it off.”

 _‘Well, it’s not like I had a choice…’_ The Doctor bitterly thought to himself.

“Though, there is one part of this that does capture my attention.” The Master frowned, pointing at the scan. “This reads full human. I expected human plus Time Lord.”

“Well,” The Doctor sniffed, quickly trying to lie his way into the position he needed to be, “When Amy was pregnant with Melody, she didn’t read human plus Time Lord either. Our scanners are good, but they’re not that good. The only way to be able to tell for sure is to induce labor,” At that, Cortana’s head shot up, the woman looking green.

The Master’s eyes narrowed, looking at the Doctor. “…Did you even expose her to the vortex energy like I instructed?”

“Well, er, possibly, no.” The Doctor stammered theatrically, preparing himself. He couldn’t get himself where he had to be with words, so he was going to have to rely upon something else.

The Master’s deposition quickly turned angry. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

The Doctor coughed. “No comment.”

The Master’s scowl deepened, as he reached into his suit pocket, pulling out the TCE. “Now…” The Master began, leveling the weapon at the Doctor, “Here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to reverse the growth, and do as I had instructed, and if you don’t.” He turned the weapon towards Cortana. “Both of them die.”

The Doctor glanced between them. “…I see. You know what I miss?”

The Master’s eyebrows furrowed, as he looked at the Doctor.

“I miss our little spats back on Earth in the seventies.” The Doctor admitted to the Master. “I always took those very seriously, but do you know what? It was good fun. Just two old guys duking it out with their wits like it was a game in a schoolyard.”

“Doctor, if there is no purpose to your prattling-“

“Oh, there is.” The Doctor assured. “See, because back then, I was a much different sort of man, I think you’ll agree. I had a sonic screwdriver, yes, but I didn’t rely upon it for everything. And while I technically also possessed the TARDIS, she was earthbound. I could get out of most scrapes with my wits alone, sure, but occasionally, there were problems I couldn’t solve with brains alone.”

The Master’s fists began to shake with fury. “Doctor-“

“But fortunately, as it happens, I happened to have a very useful skill.” The Doctor grinned. “A blackbelt in Venusian Aikido. Which, also as it happens, is a skill that I’ve kept up over the years.”

Suddenly, the Doctor, moving faster than lightning, launched into the old martial art that was the favorite of his third incarnation. The Time Lord’s hand shot out, striking the other Time Lord in the shoulder

Venusian Aikido, much like Earth Aikido, didn’t have many offensive moves. But the Doctor was well versed in the pressure points of many different species, and as it happens, Gallifreyans had a very sensitive nerve cluster in the left shoulder, near the neck. One strike from the Doctor was enough to disorient the Master, the Doctor pulling the weapon out of the Master’s hand in the brief moment of confusion. Another blow was enough to send the Master to the floor.

The Doctor threw the TCE to the ground with all his might, the weapon shattering into a thousand pieces, before he turned back to Cortana, and sprinted over.

“What the hell was that!?” Cortana looked on in shock, the event having took place in a second.

“Aikido.” The Doctor answered, beginning to unstrap her from the bed, and the machines that were active. “Developed by the warrior monks of Venus. You really need five arms to become a true master at it, but I managed.”

“Great,” Cortana stood up, shifting uncertainly at the new weight attached to her. “So, how do we-“ She suddenly doubled over in pain, clutching her stomach. “Ow!” She cried out. “Doctor, what was that!?”

The Doctor paled, taking a step back. “…Looks like I won’t need to induce labor after all.” He glanced at the Master. “Back on the bed!” He ordered, running to the end, as the Master fought with his own body to get up.

“What’s- ow-“ Cortana grunted, as she climbed back on. “What’s happening!?”

“The baby’s on its way, and it doesn’t care if we’re otherwise busy!” The Doctor answered, sending all the energy he could spare to his injured leg, breaking into a mad dash as he pushed the hospital bed out, intent on putting as much distance between them and the Master as possible.

****

A slightly short, blonde woman in a blue shirt with a rainbow running across the chest poked her head around the corner of a hallway in the Master’s TARDIS, eyes darting about.

She turned to the group behind her, every one of them carrying Dalek gunsticks, and gestured for them to follow her, as she carried her own gunstick.

“Sorry, but,” Max whispered loudly. “Who exactly are you!?”

“Shepard.” The Time Lady answered. “Susan’s mum. Well, grandmum until just a few weeks ago. Long story.” She reached into the pocket of her coat, and pulled out a small, cobbled-together device with a spinning dish attached to a spring on the top.

“Dude…” Dustin leaned close to Will. “Is all of your girlfriend’s family crazy?”

“Girlfriend!” Shepard beamed, turning around to spare a glance at Will. “That’s good to hear! ‘S about time Susan found someone…” She turned back to examine the device. “I fully expect to be invited to the wedding.”

Will blushed. “Just focus on finding her first.”

“Right.” Shepard replied. “See, the Daleks she and I are mainly used to are actually rather pleasant folk. Great fun at parties. But then there are the Daleks the Doctor mainly deal with, the ones who won’t hesitate to kill every living thing on sight. God only knows what she was thinking chasing after one without backup.”

“She has El.” Mike insisted.

Shepard glanced at Mike and laughed. “S-Sorry, for a second there, I thought you were serious!”

Mike scowled.

“Oh, you _were_ serious.” Shepard balked. “Well, Mikey-poo, allow me to put it in terms you can understand. The Daleks are the perfect killing machines,” She explained, taking charge down a corridor. “Every part of them, even the parts that look harmless like that little sucker-arm, is designed to kill. And, they’re fortified against everything.”

“But, not mind powers!” Mike retorted.

Shepard shot the Wheeler boy a tired glanced and held out her arm. Mike staggered, as the weapon in his hands was suddenly yanked out of them, going flying into Shepard’s hand.

“Time Lords have telekinesis.” Shepard stated, approaching Mike. “Not all of us, but enough of a percentage to matter. And Daleks are practically tailor-made to kill Time Lords. Your girlfriend won’t stand a chance if you don’t stop complaining and allow me to do my job.” Shepard stated, practically shoving the weapon back into Mike’s hands.

“Sorry.” Mike apologized. “…Why does everyone pick on me?”

Shepard frowned, tilting her head, as if giving it honest consideration. Because she was. “I don’t know. I normally don’t get like that. Sorry.” She turned back around, leading the teenagers down the corridor. “Probably your face.”

“Oh, thanks.”

****

“YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!” The Dalek screeched at the trio, as it pursued them. “SURRENDER IS COMPULSORY!”

“Well, with logic like that.” Susan grumbled, as they turned a corner. They’d been running nonstop for the past hour, the Dalek always on their heels, despite its slow movement in comparison to them.

“S-Stop…” El requested, heaving as she leaned against the wall. “Can’t… breathe…”

“We have to keep moving.” Susan stated, turning.

“…rest…” El repeated, as she took in more air.

John turned to Susan. “That Dalek must have a weak point. Something we can hit to slow it down.”

Susan gritted her teeth, rubbing her forehead, as she looked in the direction of the approaching Dalek. “The Dalek has a forcefield surrounding it, but it’s not completely impenetrable.” She turned back to John. “It’s weak around the eyestalk. One well-placed shot there should blind it long enough for us to put some distance between it and us. But you have to be _fast._ The moment the Dalek catches sight of us, it’s going to be open season.”

“One shot is all I need.” John stated, putting the two girls behind him, as he leveled his assault rifle. “Get ready to run.”

They all gulped, even John, who was vulnerable without his shields.

The Dalek turned the corner, and its optic locked on them, as it stopped.

“EXTERMINATE!” It called.

Before the Dalek could raise its gunstick, however, John squeezed the trigger, and a flurry of bullets shot out. Across the way, John could see as the Dalek’s eyestalk suddenly sparked, the blue light of the optic fizzling out.

“MY VISION IS IM-PAIRED, I CANNOT SEE!” The Dalek screeched in alarm, beginning to spin around wildly like it was flailing. A shot lanced out from its weapon, hitting the wall.

“Nice shot!” Susan complimented. “Now, run!”

“MY VISION IS IMPAIRED, I CANNOT SEE!” The Dalek repeated, as the others began to flee. “MY VISION IS IMPAIRED, I CANNOT SEE!”

A shot from the Dalek flew through the air, bouncing off the walls of the Master’s TARDIS, and went careening down in the corridor.

Susan glanced down the corridor and pushed John and El along. “Something tells me that’s going to come back to bite us in the arse later.”

****

“MY VISION IS IMPAIRED, I CANNOT SEE!” Shepard’s head tilted, allowing her to better hear down one corridor, as the Dalek’s voice echoed towards their group.

“This way!” Shepard pointed down the corridor. “Weapons at the ready, kids, get ready for the fight of your lives!” She warned, sprinting head-on towards the Dalek. “Dalek!” She addressed.

The Dalek’s mad spinning stopped, as it turned to look at Shepard. Its darkened eyestalk sparked and spluttered, before it suddenly stitched itself back together, eyestalk switching back on.

“MY VISION IS NOT IMPAIRED.” The Dalek proclaimed. “YOU WILL BE-“

“Exterminated, yes, yes, I know.” Shepard mocked. “But, before dying, I want you to take a good look at the kids surrounding you.” She snapped her fingers, pointing to each teenager, standing around the Dalek in a circle. “More specifically, the guns they’re carrying.”

“SCANNING…” The Dalek announced. “Z-NEUTRINO ENERGY MATRICES DETECTED. WEAPONS OF DALEK ORIGIN!?”

“That’s right.” Shepard confirmed. “You might be able to fire off a shot at one of one of us, but you’ll never be able to kill all of us before the rest take you down.”

“YOU ARE A KNOWN ASSOCIATE OF THE DOCTOR.” The Dalek relayed. “YOU WILL NOT FIRE.”

“Really?” Shepard raised a sarcastic eyebrow. “I’m Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy.” Shepard raised her gun. “Check your records again.”

“…ENGAGING EMERGENCY TEMPORAL SHIFT!” The Dalek declared, light crackling around the exterior of its casing. A blinding light built up around the Dalek, forcing all surrounding it to cover their eyes.

When the light died down, and vision returned to the group, the Dalek was gone, vanished.

“Well,” Shepard turned to the others with a happy smile. “That’s one less problem to worry about. Now,” She raised the weapon, “Let’s go get the Master.”

****

“Ow!” Cortana screeched, “Ow! Ow! Doctor, stop!” She begged.

The Doctor looked down, and obliged, wheeling her into an open intersection of the corridor. “What is it, what’s wrong!?” He paled, looking her over.

“I… I can’t…”

“Uh… Alright, alright,” The Doctor hyperventilated, looking around. “It’s fine! I’m a doctor!” The Doctor ran to the end of the bed. “I’ve delivered a Weevil in the middle of an active volcano, it can’t be harder than that. Alright,” The Doctor took a deep breath. “Spread your legs, far as you can…” He swallowed. “Let’s deliver this baby. Ready?”

Cortana looked pale. “I wish John was here.”

The Doctor huffed. “So do I. Now, take a deep breath, and push.”

“I am so not ready for this.” Cortana gulped.

“Neither am I. Let’s do it together.” The Doctor tried to make light. “Now, push!”

Cortana screamed.

****

El stopped, freezing, as she heard the scream in the distance. “Mom!?” She turned towards the corridor from where the sound came, and without thinking, sprinted down it.

John and Susan glanced at each other for a moment.

“Go after her!” Susan directed. “The Master’s down that way!” She pointed down a different corridor. “I’ll deal with him, go!”

The SPARTAN gave a short nod, and ran after El, as Susan tracked down the Master.

****

“You’re doing great!” The Doctor spurred Cortana. “Just hold on!”

Cortana grunted painfully. “It hurts…”

“I know.” The Doctor responded gently, trying to keep her as comfortable as he could. “Hey, you want to hear a funny story?”

“Hm?” Cortana tried to focus, as she kept pushing.

“I had a friend, back in the Prydonian Academy.” The Doctor began. “Koschei, her name was. Well, she had been a he, but there was an accident with an air pistol, and he regenerated into a woman.”

“Koschei…” Cortana repeated, trying to follow along with the Doctor, trying not to focus on the pain. “A woman… Was she pretty?”

“Oh, she was beautiful.” The Doctor reflected with a smile. “She had the most beautiful mop of ginger hair I’d ever seen, green eyes that sparkled like the emerald grass of Midnight, skin that looked like it was polished porcelain. She was like a tiger, tearing into everyone that crossed her, but so gentle to those she cared about… And she was my best friend.”

“What… What happened to her?” Cortana asked.

“We got married.” The Doctor answered with a slight chuckle.

“Married.” Cortana repeated. “Had some kids?”

“Oh, lots.” The Doctor answered. “Which is a nice lead-in. For Kos’s birthday, our first born, Nyarla, she decides to get her mother a whole wardrobe’s worth of new robes. Don’t ask how a seven-year-old managed to do that, but it might or might not have something to do with me.” The Doctor winked. “Anyway, she doesn’t have any place to put them, so, you know what she does?”

“What?” Cortana asked, still pushing back the pain.

“She goes into her mother’s closet, clears out all the robes Kos has had saved for the really formal functions, throws them out, and shoves all the new ones in there!” The Doctor laughed, the event still funny to him so many years after the occurrence. “Kos is livid with me, absolutely livid when she sees it, and thinks I’m the one responsible, but then Nyarla comes in and goes; ‘Hey, mum, I cleaned out your closet of all those stuffy old clothes you never wear, and got you some new ones that don’t stink so you can wear those!’” The Doctor absolutely cracked up, clapping his hands. “And Kos, the look on her face… And she just goes; ‘That’s… great honey. Thank you so much.’ Oh…” The Doctor sighed, smiling. “I got whipped something fierce for that, but do you know what?”

“What?” Cortana inquired.

“Kos left all those expensive robes that Nyarla threw out to rot in the mud, and from that day forward, only wore the ones that Nyarla got her, even to the really important formal gigs.” The Doctor smiled fondly.

Cortana, despite the pain, smiled as well. “What happened to them?”

“Oh, you know… time.” The Doctor answered a bit evasively. “Koschei regenerated again some time after that, and he and I just… drifted apart. He got locked up in Shada for something horrible. Nyarla was taken into the academy, and I haven’t seen her since.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” The Doctor replied. “It’s all in my past. Now, let’s focus on-“

The Doctor was cut off, as Cortana suddenly howled in pain, as an aqua bolt of energy, bouncing off the walls, struck her in the stomach.

“Cortana!” The Doctor shouted, looking her over. “Cortana, are you okay!?”

“W-What the hell was that…?” Cortana demanded, grunting in pain.

“Dalek energy blast.” The Doctor answered. “It lost a lot of its potency bouncing around like that, be glad you aren’t dead.”

“What about-“ Cortana grunted. “What about the baby?”

The Doctor swallowed, as the pilfered medical scanner beeped its warning. “…I’m sorry.”

****

“Alright, fam,” Shepard drew a breath, leading the group to the end of the corridor. “This is it… Oh, I like that, ‘fam.’ Should use that more often.” She commented, looking at them. “That’s what you kids say now, right?”

Blank blinking was Shepard’s only response.

“Everyone’s a critic…” Shepard grumbled, turning back to the door. “Alright, on three. One… two…” She raised her leg, preparing to kick the door down.

“Freeze!” Susan screamed, popping out of the corner, holding her sonic screwdriver like a weapon. She suddenly gasped, realizing the people she’d stopped. “Mum!” She cried, running into Shepard’s arms.

“Oh!” Shepard gasped in pleased surprise. “We’re hugging? Good. I like hugging.”

“What are you doing here?” Susan asked, sounding glad to see Shepard, nonetheless.

“Oh, you know me, people in distress.” Shepard answered.

“Have you seen dad!?” Susan anxiously pulled away from Shepard, looking around frantically.

“Nope,” Shepard admitted. “But I think the Master might be able to help us on the way.”

“Good, good…” Susan nodded, pointing. “That’s what I was thinking.”

Mike thinned his lips. “And you were going to take him down with a penlight?”

“…It’s sonic.” Susan replied.

Lucas raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“It makes a noise!” Susan shot back. “Wait a second, where’s the Dalek?”

“Gone.” Shepard answered. “We can worry about it later, for now…” She turned back to the door, working out a kink in her neck. “On three. One… Two…”

Shepard raised her leg and kicked.

“YEOW!” Shepard cried, hopping around holding her foot. “Good lord, that smarts!”

“You know, you’re supposed to aim for the area above the lock.” Max pointed out, all turning to look at her. “What? I watch crime shows.”

“It’s a TARDIS, not a plywood shack.” Shepard grumbled. “Guess that’s what I deserve for not carrying around a sonic screwdriver…”

“The door’s deadlocked anyway,” Susan pointed out. “Even a sonic wouldn’t be able to get us through.”

“And I’m good at telekinesis, but not that good. But maybe…” Shepard mumbled, leaning against the door, closing her eyes. “Funny story about Time Lords… We’re not named that because we’re just time travelers. Mastery over time itself is written into our very biology. If I can just find the right timeline…”

The humans of the group all gasped as Shepard suddenly stepped through the door like it wasn’t even there.

“Oh, that is cool…” Dustin remarked with a grin, as the door opened from the other side.

“Hello, hello!” Shepard called out, as she ushered them into the room. “Hope you don’t mind if I make myself at home! Nice place you’ve got here, I love the dark, polished obsidian look.”

The Master stepped out from behind a corner, awe plastered on his features. “It’s you…”

 _‘He thinks I’m his version of the Doctor.’_ Shepard sent into the minds of everyone following her. _‘Just go with it.’_

“Yep.” Shepard replied, striding across the floor to come face-to-face with the Master.

“B-But how!?” The Master indignantly spluttered. “You were imprisoned by the Judoon, maximum security! Even they know how to keep you under lock and key! How did you escape!?”

“You know me.” Shepard shrugged, shoving her hands into her coat pockets. “Never met a prison that could hold me for long. Especially the inescapable ones, those always last the shortest. But, more to the point, I caught wind you were causing havok…” Shepard’s eyes narrowed as she glared at the Master. “What in the name of sanity are you doing?”

The Master opened his mouth to speak.

“You know what,” Shepard cut him off before he could get a word out. “I don’t care. You’ve had your fun, that’s all well and good, but it stops. Now.”

The Master scoffed. “And how are you going to stop me? With a gaggle of teenagers who look too scared to even hold those guns properly? Besides, if I know one thing about the Doctor, it’s that they don’t use guns.”

“Oh, that used to be the case,” Shepard pivoted about, making a show of owning the floor. “But then I got put in prison. It does things to you.”

The Master snorted, crossing his arms. “Don’t make me laugh. If you think you can deceive me into thinking you’d shoot me, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Well then,” Shepard shrugged. “Guess I’m not the only one.” Was all she offered, before socking the Master clear across the jaw. “Woo!” She shouted, holding up her fist to reveal that her putting her hands into her pockets was more than just a tick, but a way of discreetly grabbing onto a device made of two purple metal rings attached to each other. “Sontaran Stun Knuckles, picked these up on Omega for half a credit, swear by ‘em!”

“Holy shit, you just beat the hell out of him!” Lucas bent over the knocked-out form of the Master.

“What’d you do?” Will asked, looking at Shepard.

“One charge from these little beauties are enough to knock a Krogan Battlemaster on his ass.” Shepard answered, placing the stun knuckles back in her pocket. “He’s fine. He’ll be out cold for the next couple of hours, but long enough for me to get him back to Gallifrey.”

Max’s eyebrows furrowed. “Gallifrey?”

“My homeworld.” Shepard answered, grunting as she hefted the Master over her shoulders. “And right now, the only place capable of punishing the Master for his crimes.”

“But wait, where’s father?” Susan asked, looking around.

“And Cortana?” Lucas asked.

“And El?” Mike inquired.

“Think about it.” Shepard prompted.

“Well, the Master Chief and El broke off to head down a corridor to find Cortana, and since the Doctor isn’t here…” Susan looked like she had an epiphany. “Will, come on!” She ordered, pulling him after her.

“Where’re we going!?” Will asked as he struggled to keep up.

“Isn’t it obvious!?” Susan shot back.

“…Ah, precious love. Isn’t it sweet?” Shepard rhetorically asked, turning to the others. “Come on, you lot.” She ordered. “Back to the proper TARDISes.”

Mike looked down the corridor that Will and El had run down. “But El-“

“Is going to be just fine.” Shepard stated, adjusting the Master’s unconscious form. “We took care of the Dalek, and this pillock isn’t going anywhere. But, he _is_ pressing down right on the nerve cluster in my shoulder, so if you all could just cooperate and do as I say, that’d be great.”

Mike sighed. “Fine, let’s go.”

****

By the time John and El made it to Cortana and the Doctor… it was all over.

The Doctor stood there in the corner, looking at the two arrivals. He said nothing, but the sorrow in his eyes was enough for them to know exactly what he was thinking.

“…I’m sorry.” The Time Lord quietly whispered, as John took a few shaky steps over to Cortana.

The woman lay there, on the bed, staring blankly with tears running down her eyes, at the unmoving child in her arms.

El took a few steps of her own, towards the bed, looking on in shock.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

She was supposed to be a big sister… And so, she too, began to weep. Even John, the most stoic being on the planet, had faint tears springing up in the corners of his eyes.

“Father!” Susan came running into the junction, freezing in shock. “Oh no…”

Will was right behind her, stiffening. “God, no…”

“Will, let’s…” Susan took Will’s hand. “Let’s head back to the TARDIS… I think things are wrapped up here.”

And during all of that, the Doctor just stared.

****

 _‘It’s our fault.’_ Ten was the first to speak.

 _‘Our fault?’_ Three repeated. _‘You mean the Master’s.’_

 _‘I should’ve known it’d turn out like this.’_ Nine grumbled. _‘Nothin’ good’s ever happened from makin’ friends with humans.’_

 _‘There was that Rose girl, or have you forgotten?’_ Eight asked.

 _‘Ironic, comin’ from you.’_ Nine bit back.

 _‘Koschei…’_ Number One breathed. _‘I did not think him capable of such acts… not after having his own child.’_

 _‘What’s the saying?’_ Two rhetorically asked. _‘Oh, yes, people change. Especially true given regeneration, don’t you know?’_

 _‘Quite right.’_ Five agreed. _‘The Master is capable of far worse, I’ve seen so first hand… So, what’s the plan gentlemen?’_

 _‘Plan?’_ Seven inquired. _‘What makes you certain there’s a plan?’_

 _‘We’re the Doctor. We always have a plan, even when we don’t.’_ Five stated.

 _‘_ Especially _when we don’t.’_ Four’s deep, booming voice corrected.

 _‘Let’s see…’_ Six began. ‘ _There’s a Mire medical kit in one of the storerooms.’_

‘ _And condemn it to eternity as an infant!?’_ One shot back. ‘ _Absolutely not!’_

 _‘And condemn an infant to death?’_ Six retorted. _‘Anyone can see that it is the only reasonable course of action!’_

 _‘You’ve just gotten a big head since that ‘Eleven’ girl proclaimed you were her favorite.’_ Three accused.

 _‘Good taste and this current conversation have nothing to do with each other!’_ Six harrumphed.

 _‘Gentlemen, please.’_ Five tried to play peacemaker. _‘While Six is right, we cannot bring a life back in such a manner. To do so would be callous at best, outright cruel at worst.’_

 _‘I fail to see the problem.’_ Two innocently commented.

 _‘Just think about it.’_ Ten instructed. _‘Spending all eternity as a baby. You can’t grow, you can’t learn. The only reasons to live are forever out of your reach… and nothing can put you out of your misery.’_

 _‘Death is one of the most natural things in the universe.’_ Nine began almost sagely. _‘And we’d be making sure there was a creature out there that couldn’t ever find its release… in some ways, in trying to save it, we’d be sentencing that child to something far worse than death. People always wish for eternal youth… but this would be giving it in the worst way.’_

 _‘Dark.’_ Seven commented. _‘But accurate.’_

 _‘Hmm… How about the TARDIS?’_ Eight suggested. _‘She brought Chang and Grace back after the Master killed them.’_

 _‘That particular mechanism only works if the lifeform was inside at the time of death.’_ One replied. _‘And I’m afraid the Master’s TARDIS would not be so kind as to oblige us.’_

 _‘None of you are addressing the obvious element in the room, so I suppose I will have to.’_ War’s raspy voice spoke up. _‘Instead of looking at the issue from a mechanical one, perhaps we should look at it from a biological one.’_

 _‘…You’re not suggesting…’_ Six responded.

 _‘I am.’_ War confirmed. _‘While the Gallifreyan body is the only thing that can produce regeneration energy, it is not the only thing that can be repaired by it.’_

 _‘…we’d never be able to regenerate again.’_ Four proposed.

 _‘That is already the case.’_ War reminded them. _‘And even if it weren’t, there are worse things to lose a regeneration to than giving it to another. Because Sandshoes was right. It is our fault. The Master would not have gone after them had we not become involved. But, perhaps by doing this, we can atone for it.’_

 _‘…I wholeheartedly agree.’_ The First Doctor’s voice held a smile in it. _‘Now, young man, since you haven’t taken part in this conversation, perhaps you can get on with it, hmm?’_

The Doctor suddenly took in a sharp breath, as the world snapped into being around him once more, the voices of his previous selves fading just as quickly as he’d called them.

He knew what he had to do. The Doctor slowly walked over, looking on.

“…Give her here.” The Doctor gently ordered, Cortana’s head shooting over to him.

Despite the unmoving child, Cortana clutched the baby close. “I-I…” She stammered

“…Please.” The Doctor quietly begged. “I think… I know I can help. Please, let me try.”

Cortana, tears coating her cheeks, turned to look at John. The SPARTAN looked to her, and then the Doctor, and nodded. Cortana turned to El, who nodded after a split second.

Cortana, shaking, handed the tiny form over to the Doctor.

The Time Lord looked down at the baby. He’d held his own child dead in his arms before. Once, a long time ago… at the Fall of Arcadia during the Last Great Time War, he’d held Susan, the original Susan, who hadn’t even made it to the current Susan’s age, before a Dalek stamped her life out.

He promised another person wouldn’t have to bear that pain.

“I’m so sorry…” The Doctor swallowed. “It’s my fault the Master went after you two… but, I can start to make this right.” His skin began to glow, gold-orange particles radiating off him. “Wake up, little one.” The Doctor whispered, closing his eyes as he gave the child every ounce of energy he could spare.

Seconds passed, still, in silence, before he could feel a little twitch. And then another. And then another.

And the baby started to wail.

“Ha ha!” The Doctor whooped, beaming as he held the child aloft. “Catherine T. Halsey, welcome to the land of the living!” He grinned, passing the little girl back over to Cortana. “Congratulations, she’s a perfectly healthy baby girl!”

“H-“ Tears began falling from Cortana’s eyes, the baby’s crying stopping as she was placed into her mother’s arms, but the little spasms made it clear she was perfectly alive. “How?”

“I’m, uh-“ The Doctor bashfully blushed. “I’m on my final life, so… I used the last little bit of residual regeneration energy I had. She needed it more than I will.” The Doctor smiled, looking down at the baby.

The newborn opened her eyes and spluttered something, unintelligible to the others, but entirely understandable to the Doctor.

“She’s your mum.” The Doctor answered, smiling slightly as El and Cortana cooed over the baby, John looking over in sheer, unbridled, joy and relief.

The newborn’s eyes flickered over to John, and she blew a raspberry.

“He’s not your mum, he’s your dad.” The Doctor played with the little girl’s tiny hand. “No, I didn’t say ‘not-mum.’”

“What are you doing?” Cortana tilted her head, as the armored SPARTAN reached out to gently pluck the child out of her mother’s arms.

The Doctor looked back at Cortana and bowed. “I speak baby.”

“…You’re having me on, aren’t you?”

The Doctor winked. “I speak everything.”

****

“Here we are.” The Doctor gestured, throwing the TARDIS doors open, as John wheeled Cortana out in a wheelchair, El walking alongside, focused on the baby the entire time. “Oh, look, somebody’s already home.”

Billy sat on the couch in the cabin’s living room, fork frozen over a plate. “…the hell?”

El waved with a smile. “Hey Billy.” She greeted, before skipping off to her room.

“Max back?” John asked.

“Yeah… a woman dropped her off.” Billy blankly stared at the TARDIS.

“Ah, good. Shepard’s good about getting people where they need to be.” The Doctor inhaled, turning back to the married couple. “…I’m sorry about the Master.”

“You couldn’t have known.” John replied.

“…I should’ve.” The Doctor frowned for a moment, ruminating to himself. “Oh well, nothing we can do about it now, it’s all in the past. Now, allow me to get out of your hair.” He pointed down at young Catherine. “You’ve got a newborn to tend to.”

“Doctor.” Cortana addressed, as the Doctor stepped into the TARDIS. “…Will she be fine?”

“Cat?” The Doctor responded, Cortana nodding. “You shouldn’t have to worry about postnatal care, I already took care of that when ‘resuscitating’ her.” He explained, with a small smile. “Don’t worry. Your baby is going to be fine. I promise.”

Cortana frowned. “Unless a green bolt of energy comes flying in out of friggin nowhere again.”

“I couldn’t predict the Dalek.” The Doctor sadly admitted. “But trust me. You don’t have anything to be concerned over. If something comes up, like a second heart or a third kidney… Well,” He shot a quick glance back at them over his shoulder. “You kept my number from last time, I hope.”

John nodded.

The Doctor grinned. “Good. Be seeing you.” He offered, slamming the TARDIS doors shut behind him. The engines engaged, and the ancient timeship vanished, faint gusts of wind kicking up indoors as it dematerialized.

Billy blinked, looking to the two. “Who the hell was that?”

Cortana sighed. “The worst family practitioner of all time.”

****

“I’m happy.” Susan stated, standing on the other side of the console, helping the Doctor fly. “You did the right thing.”

“I couldn’t just stand by.” The Doctor responded. “I had to do something.” He glanced over to her. “What did happen to the Dalek Formerly Known as Neil Hargrove?”

“Neil?” Will’s head shot up. “That thing was Max’s stepdad?”

“Used to be.” The Doctor elaborated. “What happened to it?”

“No clue.” Susan admitted. “It ran.”

The Doctor minutely nodded. “We should probably tell Gallifrey to keep an eye out for it.” He began typing a message into the panel.

“Wait, if that thing used to be Max’s stepdad…” Will began. “What happened to Max’s mom?”

Susan glanced at Will sadly. “We can probably guess…”

Will took in a breath. “…poor Max.”

“I know.” The Doctor agreed. He sniffed. “Right, Will, time to drop you back home.”

“Oh…” Will’s eyes widened. “About that…”

****

Joyce stood over the flaming rubble, the Doctor far behind her, out of slapping range, and Will stood to her side.

“What… in blazes…” Joyce began. “HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE!?”

“Don’t worry.” Will patted his mother on the shoulder. “The Doctor’ll pay for the new one.”

The Doctor spluttered, as Joyce turned on her heel, angrily marching towards him. “No fair!” The Doctor accused, as Joyce caught up. “I have a cane! You wouldn’t hit a man with a cane! OW! …oh, you hit me _with_ the cane, I see what you did the- OW!”

Will and Susan looked on, transfixed at the scene.

“So,” Susan turned back to Will. “You wanna try a take-two on that date?”


End file.
